The start of something new.

What do you want me to say? What I feel now is like...

I woke up yesterday slightly indifferent. Janice, Ping and Vonne were already there making sure I was awake.

Cycling with the girls was fun. My ass hurts, but otherwise it was awesome.

And then I woke up today. And it just seemed to flood back to me.

It hurts. It's painful. I feel like a knife struck me in my stomach and I can't get it out.

I don't regret doing it. At least I hope I don't.

I just don't wanna see him. I don't even know when I'll be ready to see him ever again.

Basically, I remember everything, and the severity of the situation is staring at me in the face.

I don't wanna regret doing this... So why does it seem like I never wanted that night to happen.

I tell people I made the right choice, but maybe I'm only telling it to them because I'm trying to convince myself that it's true.

It really hurts so much. I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now.

I'm not angry at him.

But I just wish I didn't ever have to see him again.

I don't wanna hear his name or see his face until I come back in december.

Then we'll see.