Sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do.
It's like, I've been close to the heat, been burnt by the fire, but the bright flames keep attracting me back to its horrid core centre.
I honestly need to get a grip on things. I am in such a good place right now. I have plenty of amazing great friends, I'm doing alright in school, maintaining my 2:1 average, I'm actually happy, enjoying my stay here.
I don't want that to end. I think of the depression of the past and I don't want that. I want to be this happy for a while, hold on to that joy for as long as humanly possible.
No matter how much I want certain things to be different, or as they are, I can't have that. And I never will. So perhaps it's time I start accepting that.
I just hope that the Easter retreat will help to clarify this issue of mine. Once and for all. It's been dragging back and forth for a while. It should and needs to stop.
This is a girl. This is her blog. That's pretty much the gist of where you are now on the internet.
