My mind keeps saying run as fast as you can.

Okay. So... I think I'm done trying to seek the right one.

Don't worry, I'm not depressed, or angry, or miserable.

I'm actually feeling pretty alright. Well, a little tired but that's because I've been waking up at stupid hours in the morning because my body hates me.

I just think I should just wait for him to come to me. I'm gonna just sit here and wait.

So yeah. Need to sort out more important things in my life anyway. And I'm a bit sianzz of guys going 'oh I really like you' when they barely know me. Like, really ah? You like me ah? Wow. You must know me so well from my Facebook profile and a couple of chats. Congratulations.

Okay, I rarely use Singlish in my blog. So you know how tired I feel.

Anyway, if I'm being honest, I don't really know what I want.

I still don't know if I should give M another chance although to be fair that's not really an issue that's very pressing. Just one of those things at the back of my mind.

Also, I'm very hungry. That's a more pressing issue.

In other news, I can't help but feel very sorry for J. To the extend of wanting to check in with him. But I can't see how that would end well if at all so I'm stopping myself.

I still think he's an ass that fucks up everything good going for him because he feels like he is entitled to all these things. But no one should have a crappy Christmas. I do love Christmas so it's sad when I learn that someone I know isn't having a good Christmas. I love Christmas because, despite all the money pumped into gifts and such, there's still a magical spirit in the air that affects (most) everyone.

So to hear that he's really upset is quite pitiful.

If I knew that he wouldn't be anything but nice at least, I would drop him a message just asking him how he is. But he would probably just get all mad and ask me why I bother, blah blah blah.

Well, in any case, I wish whoever is reading this a very Merry Christmas. Hope yours is and was amazing and fantastic!

xxx