Find Stuff

Saturday, May 11, 2013

If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?

I'm so new at this relationship thing. It's going well but I feel like I'm constantly navigating myself through my own self-destructive thoughts.

It's funny because we're both not the best at relationships. And I guess that's great, because it's not me leading him, or him leading me, it's us, holding the other person's hand, and walking side-by-side.

'The more time I spend with you, the longer these next 3 months will be.' 

He said this in a quiet voice, as we both were drifting off to sleep. 

I feel like I'm learning about him every day. Like, how every time we text, his replies tend to be rather short and seemingly dismissive. I used to think that maybe I liked him too much too fast and he was getting overwhelmed. Then I found out that he thought of me constantly. That I was always on his mind. And it's obvious by the way he acts around me. So he's just not a man of many words. He prefers to show it. And that's a lot better in every way.

I think I could fall hard. And I'm so afraid because I've fallen hard before and it has not ended well. And this time, I feel like if and when I do fall hard, he'll be there to catch me. 

I gave him a spare toothbrush to use this morning. The last 2 times I did that, the relationship sort of broke down soon after. Here's to hoping the toothbrush is kept there and used.

No comments: