Remember all those times I was hoping for something

The stupid things I've done in the last 2-3 days include:

- Almost drinking my saline solution, thinking it was water. I'm NOT kidding. I had unscrewed the cap and had the tip *this* close to my lips.
- While drinking hot coffee, I didn't realise the cap wasn't locked in properly and it took me a full 2 seconds to realise that hot coffee was spilling down my shirt.
- Pouring a generous dollop of HAIR CONDITIONER onto my body in the shower and started scrubbing, and then going 'WTF AM I DOING?!'
- Missed my train from London because I miscalculated the time and had to pay £50 for another ticket.

I think I'm turning more stupid by the day.

In other news...

I'm feeling so groggy and am in no mood to do work.

I don't really know why. It's probably just one of those days...

Everyone's telling me to be patient. Things will happen when they happen.

But I can't help but want time to move faster and things to happen quicker. Isn't it time for my happy ending? Of course, in saying that, there's no guarantee that this will indeed be a happy ending. All I'm saying is, I've been so sad for so long, perhaps it's time I become a bit happier.

Okay, the last statement was just of me being a brat.

To be honest, my life is going pretty great now. I was on the train to London yesterday thinking about how great my life actually is.

Of course, being human, I wish it was better. I wish I could easily tell him that I like him. I wish he could say it back.

I'm just glad that after next week, I'll get to spend that bit more time with him, and we'll see how things go.

Why am I in such a hurry to grow up so fast? I don't think I am. I was forced into this corner of which I can't get out of. Well, I did walk some of the way there myself... But the point is, I'm here now. And I wanna believe that this corner isn't all that it is.

I wanna believe that love exists. That someone truly wants to be with me, baggage included.

... ... ...

I truly and honestly can't wait for next week.