In the Spirit of giving..

I was supposed to post this pictures up a long time ago, but the last time I tried, blogger screwed up. After that, I had absolutely no time.

I usually stop being all crazy over stuff after a certain period of time.. I blame it on my inability to be easily impressed. So, basically, I have pretty much gotten over the Japan Hana Kimi Show.

But, I haven't really gotten over HanaKimi, because I just finished 23 volumes of it. That's right, my first intrusion into the world of drawn japanese characters also known as Manga. (pronounced Mah-ng-ga and not Meh-ng-ger, okay Tia?) Anyway, I only downloaded it because I read somewhere that there was an additional special ending. So I figured, why not just read the whole thing? It really is a very cute comic, so I'm glad I started off with this.. However, hopefully this phase will go away soon, because I have 2 years worth of studying to catch up with.

So, presenting a couple of HanaKimi-late pictures.

From left: Nanba Minami, Ashiya Mizuki, Sano Izumi, Nakatsu Shuichi.

I think Ikuta Toma (guy who plays Nakatsu) is very cute!

Oh mann... I forgot the guy who plays Sano! But he's also in Hana Yuri Dango..

Pretty nice show (:

OKAY! And we are moving along to other topics...

Yesterday was the church feast day. Went to church early for carolling practice with Genesis II choir.. Me n belle were in Soprano because they have mostly melodic parts.. but I tried Alto for Silent Night.. didn't really work.. oh well. Had the feast day dinner. Was so bloody bored!! Went early, so I KNEW I was gonna be bored.. so I brought my earphones.. even music didn't help... anyway, saw Joanne, Manny, Na na, Jason, Bernie, Andrew and Peter. When it started, I ate a bit, fiddled around as my table talked old people things.. and finally decided to stop moping about. First, I went to ask Joanne if she needed help, but it seemed she didn't. Then, I went to disturb Peter (he is so fun to talk to!) after which, I went to the staircase where I found Joshua Lee sitting with other small boys (don't ask me why.) Called belle and practically begged her to come.. (I say practically because I don't beg. period.) and in the end.. The lucky draw (in which Eugene got a vase and $20 taka vouchers.) was very fun! The 2nd prize was 0815.. and peter had the ticket numbers of 0814, 0816 n 0817, so he was so pissed!! Haha.. I think he's really funny. And Andrew was confirming that he liked girls although he liked shopping as well.. which I thought was funny.

It's really too bad that I can't make the AGM of the YC on the 1st.. what a date to choose.. but I love all of them soo much!! They're all great people!

Anyway, tonight is Joan's house time! We're gonna party the night away! By playing cluedo. Chao till then!

Hikkuri kaeru ai no maaku (WARNING, HANA KIMI SPOILERS AHEAD. MAY BE BORING TO NON-DRAMA-WATCHING PEOPLE.)

I spent Christmas doing the annual usual christmas stuff I do at christmas... With a new twist! This year, instead of rotting my jolly season away with endless gift-exchanging, carol-singing and merry-making, I managed to SQUEEZE in a little extra something... Drama-watching!

That's right.. On an impulse started from some Friends trivia (don't ask. Long story.) I went onto Crunchy Roll the day before christmas (Christmas Eve, for those still racking brain cells.) signed up and typed in Hana Kimi. The Japanese Version, of course, because it was highly recommended by Dione.

Of course, I've had many many recommendations, including ones by Dione, Ping, Anne and even Mel.. but somehow, I just figured that since I already know the basic plot of Hanazakarino Kimitachihe, it wouldn't be very heavy watching.

Of course, by strange, crazy luck of questionable nature, the show turned out to be quite unexpected, ABSOLUTELY fantastic, and lastly, addicting. Now I watch to watch it again... And again. And again. And again.

Then there's also the other dramas I want to try, like Hana Yuri Dango, which I was suppose to watch AGES ago... Devil Beside You (recommended by many, so I'm thinking it should be quite nice.)... then there's the ones Ping swears by like the Why Why Love one..(how do they come up with THESE titles?! A hat?!) The Lamb with the Stars... (Fang Yang De Xing Xing) The Bean Cow one.. (whose chinese title I forget.. I just remember something about basketball..) And many many more...

The thing is, with my graduating year approaching at 100mph, I will have absolutely no time to enjoy these little nuggets of pleasure... until after OCTOBER... Probably then, I'll restart my blog (which would undoubtly collapse sometime within the next year.. I say that because this year ends in 5 days anyway.) and become a Drama Fanatic!

I can't believe I'm going to become a Drama Fanatic... And in less than a year... Oh the torture of the anticipating period.. how it mocks me so!

Of course, there's also the choice of what types of dramas I want to have 'expertise' in.. Taiwanese seems like the best bet, although I wouldn't be able to stand the same plots over and over again.. (The main plot is of course different, the basic, uncoloured one is the same.) Right now, the Japanese ones seem good because of the varying plots, and their ability to keep the romance interest sparked while still focused on the main point of the story as well.

Of course, I can't say that to every drama, but this is the analysis I have collected from both verions of Hana Kimi. The only drama I have ever watched, hence might be a little biased. Or a lot.

(SPOILERS AHEAD. STOP IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING THIS.)

In the Taiwan one, the main point (Sano Izumi/Zuo Yi Quan high jumping again.) is only stretched till the 4th or 5th episode. After that, the rest of the show is not really based on high-jumping anymore, which would confuse the people who expect so. The Japan one lays almost the entire show with High-Jump bits, whether it's what viewers want or not, that's still the main focus of the show. The final is only shown in the 11th Episode, the second last one.

(NO MORE SPOILERS (: )

Anyway, both versions are great in their own right, and even though I prefer the old one, I say, watch both!

To all my readers, a joyful christmas and a fantastic new year be upon you! (:

When the world seems to spin away

The long non-updating was due to Blogger being a bitch. Either that or my laptop being an asshole. Either way, I couldn't.

Anyway, I'm feeling tired (the ONLY time I can sign in, and it's almost midnight.) and due to a previous mounting headache I managed to wrangle after 2 hours spent in my room clearing out drawers, my energy has also seriously depleted.

Hence, instead of giving the 411 of what I did previously, I shall provide details of what remains of my holiday period before the year of the big ONE SIX dawns upon my existence.

23rd Dec, Sunday (tomorrow) - Church. The completion of christmas presents.
24th Dec, Monday - Christmas Eve. Morning spent moaning in laziness, evening spent in church.
25th Dec, Tuesday - Christmas day. Spent at Aunty Rita's. Expect dizzy laughter.
26th Dec, Wednesday - My gosh. I'm free. I'm actually free! Can you believe that??! Okay... I'm sure something will come up anyway.
27th Dec, Thursday - BAND. roar. And dinner at the Kwa's. Not sure of the dress code though.
28th Dec, Friday - Tuition in the wee hours of the morning (Tentative.) and then the MJ concert.
29th Dec, Saturday - Con class BBQ! Can't wait to do stupid things with the gangQ
30th Dec, Sunday - Church Feast day. Dinner and MAYBE carolling.
31th Dec, Monday - New Year's Eve. Morning spent sloth-like. Evening with my darlings.
1st Jan, Tuesday - New Year's. Morning spent grumpy after lack of sleep. Day spent at...crap, I don't know.

Anyone wants to book an appointment? I'll see how I can fit you in.. Till then.

If I just spread my wings..

I went to brush my teeth 15 mins ago and went to grab the toothpaste off the sink counter. After which I glanced at the toothbrush holder and realised my brush was not among those present. At a double-take, I (being the paranoid one.) panicked and started looking everywhere from the bottom of the holder (God knows why.) to the laundry basket where it might have dropped. In the end, I found it in my cup. Where I had left it right before I even thought of brushing. What an adventure..

Anyway, it's about 12 midnight now so I shall not go into any heavy, indept material, but simply write down today's happenings.

I woke up at around 12pm, finishing my latest book conquest then and there. Spent 3 hours on the laptop for the primary reason of sending Belle the finished version of our testimony. Then, it came to me that she was gone for the day and there was no way she would be able to receive the mail in time for mass. So, as a substitute, I logged on to facebook and played card games till 2 plus.

That was when I received a call from darling belle to meet at HFC at 3.30 for the speech practice. Quickly getting ready (okay, not SO quickly, I remember taking my time, actually.) for church, I decided to wear my slip-on sandals; the worse decision of the day ever.

Cabbed to church, leaving the house at 3.15, and found out that I was the first one there. Well, first one meaning between me, belle (the one that rushed me out of the house and was later than me anyway.) and Darren. Met Joanne and Nana there in any case. Anyway, belle came 5 mins later and we practiced the script while trying to contact darren. (Apparently he was at Genesis 2 choir practice... being G2 king and all.. his words, not mine.)

Practiced it about a few million times before heading up to the canteen where the youth band was playing. Spent ard an hour there fellowship-ing with the Facil(iTAtors) and other people. Self-volunteered to become ushers! More laughs, new action songs and LOTS of comments on how poetic my script was. "Songs, new and familiar, graced our ears and lips and warmed our hearts which were already sparked from the walk before." I like cryptic! Sue me!

Praise and worship began! Belle, Fiona and I were sitting at the front row, sitting our hearts out. And then, Joan and Tiara came, only they were too scared to go in. Manny came straight to our row and told us "I think there's a bunch of your friends waiting for you.." Aiyoh. So paisei.

Mass went on smoothly, we had also volunteered for offering duty (very enthu lah, these people.) and our speech went on nicely.. except for "Faciliators." I swear.. belle.. you confused me.. aiyoh.

Anyway, after mass, the Camp Incredible video showed.. Go Iron man! And we skipped refreshments (okay.. we ate like, one muffin, okay?) instead opting for dinner. It was me, belle, joan, tia and gerard. (ermm.. i still think that was abit awkward and random, but it was fine in the end.) We chose pastamania again as our dining place for the evening. The tuna and bacon was great, but not very 'oomph' if you know what I mean. Tia almost passed out laughing at almost anything (well.. not really.. I said peanuts and she stopped.) and we did a few rounds of blonde and racist jokes.. hai.. the people of this generation ahh.. no shame wan..

Met Josh, Brian, Cedric and Darren (the boy, not the chief.) at ermm.. somewhere between KFC and BK cuz they were about to leave. Bid farewell to them and went to BK to play cards. (What else, right?) Stupid belle and her "We must find a messy table! OMG! A messy table! Score!" That was so it could look like we bought something.. but come on! A BIT too drastic right? It was dirty stuff, other people's germs on that tray! Who knows who sat there before? (Or rather.. who noticed lahh..)

Played anyway.. and after a while, Josh came to say goodbye to us. And THEN, ANOTHER while later, all 4 of them came back. Like that. A bit strange.. but they told us not to ask questions.. so we didn't.

After a few rounds of bridge.. (hilarity increased especially with Josh around.) tumpang-ed a cab with Josh, Darren and Cedric. Was supposed to get my own cab, but Brian decided to be nice and take a bus home. Being a great and smart guy, Josh managed to sing till I almost begged to be deaf and drop Cedric's phone under the front seat. And then I reached home.

I feel really bad cuz apparently, I didn't tell my parents about the speech thing.. well, I forgot! And now, mummy's feeling really sad cuz she missed it.

Sorry mummy!

Well.. I shall be off to bed as soon as I visit some things.. Till then, (:

Saviour, he can move the mountains.

My brother just stole the chocolates that Belle bought.. Not only that, he just grabbed the whole packet and stuffed the maltese in his mouth like a deranged maniac while I tried to tickle it away from him. Oh well... that was fun to watch.. 100g of chocolate sealing his big, stupid, annoying mouth.

Camp Incredible was 3 days ago, and I miss alot of things! Like.. my whacky, crazy facils, Kenneth and Crystal.. the equally crazy group of mine... I miss Carisia, my girlfriend in the group! Rooming with Jie Jac, Belle and Carisia... the less than 5 hours of sleep I got each night.. The awesome 'mission' at Sentosa... Getting nice and soaked in the water... The Praise and Worship session.. sigh.. The not sleeping for the night and ending up laughing like crazy psychos.. Bridge with Ryan, the Joshuas, Belle and Darren... Big bloody deals.. 6 boys sleeping in our room.. Communication!

The best camp so farr.. And the greatest facils and organisers ever!! Darren, Manny, Andrew, Audra, Steph!, Sharon, Kenneth, Chris, Eugene, Crystal, Angela, Alex girl, Joanne, Nat! And Many many more!!

Well.. that's pretty much what and whom I miss..

I shall post again when my brain doesn't feel drained and juiceless.

It seems I found the road to nowhere and I'm trying to escape.

It is like trying to feel around my heart for something that isn't there.

"I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say"

I just can't be rid of the trepidation that something will happen. Something bad. I don't want to have tuition today because I feel that the whole world will crumple. It sure as hell doesn't make sense, but what does?

Anyway, I'm sitting against the wind, the laptop perched on the ledge of the table while I try to figure out some things. What I am trying to say here, is that, at any moment in time, life as we know it could be changed forever.

It is a sad thought, and one that under no circumstance one should think about. But, I mean, we all have our moments.

Right now? I am currently awaiting the arrival of my Chinese teacher, as well as eagerly awaiting the start of church camp. And so, my wait begins. In a parallel universe, of which is not fantasy, but very true and happening, I could be doing all these things and then, BAM!

Nothing.

Which is why I think we should all stop taking for granted the simplicities of life that come to us so easily.

What I am trying to put across, with the use of simple english, is definitely not an easy feat. It really is hard to say what is going on my mind right now, because all I can figure out is a bit here, a bit there. To question WHY I am living on earth is not based on science or any other earthly metaphor. It is really a mental, spiritual thought.

If I start now, I will never stop. Hence, I decide to leave you with these words:

If you don't start truly living now, then when? If you don't start appreciating and untucking your head out from your arse, then when? If you can't give back to God, what God gave you, isn't that just defeating your main purpose on earth?

The innocence of the situation.

I swear! At this moment, my stars are not ALIGNED!

I am CRAVING for PIZZA SOO MUCHH... AHHH..

Call me a pig, I wouldn't correct you.

I couldn't let my mother know I was ordering, so I had to wait till she went into the room. Which was at 11.05pm. When the Delivery services close at 11!! 11!! OH THE HUMANITY!

I have to CONTROL myself. NO MACS OR KFC. Tomorrow, we FEAST!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, you're only a day away!

Oh, and I would like to take this time to thank my number one loyal reader: Melissa Chia Yan Ling. For without her, this post would not have been Mel-friendly. It now is.

And I would also like to add that Facebook is annoying because notifications come every 5 minutes. Hence, I have to say that I am not addicted to it, I just need to clear those bloody notifications. Of course, being the hypocrite that I am, half those notifications were made by me.

And before I get tempted to eat the laptop, let me just say that I think Karma can be a bitch.

Hey Mel! Mel-friendly enough for you? (:

An Inadequate Excuse

I never wanted to go let of him. We had spent the entire day together, and now, I just couldn't believe it was going to end. It had to be a dream, I thought to myself. There was no way something like this could happen to me. I was not fitted, simply, not worth it.

But apparently, I was. And for those few hours, even if it was for a few hours, I felt special to him. Special. I have always thought of myself as special, but for all the wrong reasons. I was special because I wasn't like other girls. I couldn't talk about clothes, mainly because I could barely fit into any. I couldn't talk about boys because it would probably be like insulting them. But that was it, wasn't it? Maybe it was my 'unique-ness' that attracted him.

And again, my thoughts spiraled into a never-ending string of stupid. I thought of his swept up mop of hair, his soulful eyes, the way he grinned at me lopsided like we had something secret no one else knew. And then I thought of the number of girls he had openly shown affection to. I seemed to be the only one. But that was what I had seen, and I wasn't with him all the time; Whether I wanted to be or not. Maybe it's just a game, I try convincing myself. But my heart seems to rather think that every boy who talks to me has some sort of crush on me. It is really ludicrous, but what is a girl to do?

This time, I knew for certain. It wasn't just a crush. And yet, I couldn't say I had fallen for him. I just wasn't that kind of person. A person who takes every single emotion as it is. I grab those emotions, tear them into pieces, and analyse each piece. A little obsessed? Yes. But that's the way I keep my emotions in check, and now, it seemed that they were losing control on their own and were slowly swirling around my heart sucking it into a vortex...

(An excerpt from a currently in-progress book, An Inadequate Excuse)

Seasons may change, Winter to Spring

It's a lazy, lazy weekend. I went for mass yesterday, so today's a totally free day for me. Been on facebook the whole day. Gosh, it does get addicting, trying to add so many applications and all. Only went on facebook to get all the pictures, but it seems that I have been sucked into its warp.

Today I post pictures, I promised myself so much. So, without further a do,

Sharan n I at the Great Wall

Cam-whoring on the plane!

Deannie and I with some Chinese pig.

Dhwani and I, on the bus, I think.

Yong and I at Beijing Int. Airport.

The Ah-lian poses of Group A. And Mr. Z. The constipated-looking one.

Claire and I, looking at banners at an angle.

The Rachels and I, CCTV station.

(from left) Kristen, Me, Yong, Mr. Z. At the China Millenium Monument.

So Artistic, ahhh.

Kris, Yong and I eating Ice-cream at 5degrees celsius.

Apparently, I am staring at Deannie's food. I don't know why..

Claire, Yong and I looking Dao for the camera. Well, not Yong.

On the plane. I think I was traumatised by air pressure.

Claire and I, location currently forgotten.

(from left) Deannie, Me, Claire, Kris, The Chinese Art Teacher, Yong and Teo. Waiting for our food at a restaurant near the school.

Chelsea(from Haising) and I. Ain't she cute?

Mr. Z looking smug because he has figured out the 'magic' of static electricity. Esther thinks he acts like a little boy sometimes. No one disagrees.

Yong, Deannie, Shuyin and I. Going Home..

The Beijing Trip people. Without Teo.

WARNING: May bore the unsuspecting and unappreciative.

Let's see what I can recount from my short-spanned, sieve-like memory.

Day One

Woke up REALLY early to get to the airport. Slept for less than 4 hours, so I felt so drained and wasted. Did the usual airport crap, check-in, chatting with the rest (this particular action repeats itself throughout the entire trip.) and group photos here and there.

The plane trip was uneventful, Yong and Teo were sickly because of air pressure. I felt a bit nauseous too but that was due to lack of sleep and the fact that I can't stand plane smells. They gag me. Anyway, the fact that she had a massive toothache apparently didn't stop Yong from cam-whoring. I don't know how many pics we took on the plane, but Teo didn't want to take anymore and since she sat in the middle, some pictures came out funny. Haha.

Shopping at WangFuJin Street! BARGAIN, BARGAIN, BARGAIN! "No, you must count the percentage!" Deannie's line that became a classic. And the run from the man who threatened Shu and pulled on her scarf! Kris's VERY ex chopsticks and my 3 sets for 50yuan. And SCREAMING for our lives when stall-holders waved LIVE scorpions at us. Haha! Poor Deannie!

That night, we met in my room where we had the nightly briefing, and then it was BRIDGE TIME. I played little though, because Claire and I had to finish the script for the next day. But apparently, Kris got addicted because they taught her. BRIDGE ROCKS. Sha slept in my room that night because Shu and Dhwani got tired and knocked out early. "So, how's band?" One example question Sha would ask me that would awake me when I had one foot in dreamland.

Day Two

GREAT WALL DAY. It was surprisingly more chilly below than on the top. And climbing it, as usual for me, was HELL. Did a bit of our segment on top though. Only managed one flight, but Yong did 4 or 5 (i think), ended up being late (miscommunication, we discussed.) and got great pics! My SUPER loose pants FELL in front of Mr. Zahari!! But before it could totally fall, I grabbed it and pulled it up. My GOSH, that was SUPER EMBARRASING. Of course, Claire was there. She always is. Before that, we went to a Jade factory, and i THINK the guide was quite hot! Bought some stamp thingy for a souvenir which ended in a mild quarrell with the Cashier. Claire. Just one word. Claire. Lunch was at some copper place. After which we could freely go around and get stuff. Which we didn't because it was super ex there and not worth getting. I was complaining to Shu about Pao which Mr Z understood somehow although I SWEAR, I tried to whisper.

Ming Tomb was not really that commendable. We had to do filming there and I kept screwing up because I can't do that sort of thing. I'm a impromtu person, and making me memorise things SUCKED. I apologise to Claire anyway. But seriously, the ming tomb isn't that great. Where we are allowed to go to isn't very wow. Apparently, the 'guards' weren't there.. and neither were the statues of officials and animals. Or maybe in our haste, we missed them. Anyway, I think Mr. Z was a little flustered because we were taking SUPER long. Sorry Mr Z!

After that, we went for a acrobatic show which was SOO nice. You could really see the sweat of the people as they struggled to maintain focus. Kudos! A few performers even looked really young, like 13 or 14 at most. And I liked it when 10+ girls balanced on one bike. SO cool!

Dinner I couldn't really remember.. I think that was the night we got sucky food and equally suckish service. Post-Briefing was held in Mr Z's room and Yong and I finished our half-way played game of bridge there. We asked Mr Z to play with us but he didn't know Bridge (how i miss those days.) so we played Daidi. Which we won. Twice. His excuse? "A strategic approach to boost [our] complacency." Anyway, we went back to wash up and met in Yong n Teo's room for more bridge. This time, Claire was taught and SHE got addicted.

Day Three

Bridge players are split up into two groups, according to me and Deannie. High-level, and the rest. Dean, Sha and I are part of the High-level. The rest, are well, the rest. They can also be splited into a few groups. An example would be Yong who can play High-level but not long-term. But that's not important. So the split was pretty set. That was, until today. However, I'll get to that later on. Today was the CNA training. We headed for the office somewhere around (we never know where for certain we are bascially) and cam-whored in the ground floor of the building. The office was alright, I guess. Little cramped, but it was fine. Played Daidi on the bus with Mr Z. He lost a few times, again. Used the same excuse, again.

Went to the UCCA (Ullens Contemporary Centre for Art (?) ) to do the Piece-to-Camera. Was fine lah, but I was SURE it could've came out better.

Forbidden city and Tian An Men Square was great! But I shan't waste time describing it.

For Dinner, we ended up laughing alot, alot. So much till even Mr. Z laughed a little. I swear, we laughed at the stupidest things. From Kris and Yong's slow reactions to Teo's 'Piang Eh!' (The trip's main phrase.) The briefing was in Mr. Z's room again, and this time we invited him to play cards with us. And that was the day Mr Z learnt bridge. His strategy is weird but easy to figure out. If his cards suck, he bids really, really super high for some reason. To end the game quick, or to ring in a challenge or something like that. If his cards are good, he also bids really super high. So, in other words, he bids high. Every single time. And for the first few times, he screwed up here and there, but that's fine, cuz all of us screw sometime or another. But slowly, he learned. Like, REALLY fast.

And that's what made the boundaries of our bridge level shaky.

Day Four

It was quite a relaxing day for us. None of us filmed with an exception. Went to CCTV station for a tour. Actually seeing how stations like Mediacorp work similarly was quite an eye-opener. The guide (International PR) was really helpful as well. The China Millenium Monument was also pretty cool. Especially the Hall. Kris and I toured it together and gave names to certain parts of the wall. When a guy was trying to make fire, we called it 'Man making fire'. There was this part where a guy was carrying a ledge which had another guy standing on it with another ledge. It was named 'Man carrying brick carrying man carrying brick.' By me, of course. It was soo funny. We went trishaw-riding and then to visit a typical chinese family home which was awesome. Really, it was. Dinner was spent gossiping about TKG. Briefing that day was at the Rachels'. After talking about the day's events, we quickly dived into games of bridge. I was practically screaming when Dhwani made a wrong move, but that was because I hate it when people do that to me. Anyway, I went to sleep early and Dhwani ended up sleeping with the Rachels. Not because I kicked her out, but because they were playing till1 and Dhwani forgot her key. Oh yes, Dhwani actually said her name wrongly in front of the Camera. So for the rest of the trip, she was known as Dhwaning. (:

Day Five

The places of attraction were the Summer Palace and the Beijing Olympic Stadium, although we didn't stop at the latter because it was still under construction. But before seeing those places, we went to a local school. That was super fantastic! I tried out the diabolo, some game I have no idea how to describe. And art class was fun! We were supposed to paint fishes (Teo's ones were damn nice lah.) and the boy beside me couldn't paint for nuts! Like I couldn't! He painted a pregnant fish and a fat fish and other weird things! He was soo cute! And he likes the F1 guy. Michael something. I gave him my chocolates. At least I hope it went to him, because I gave it to someone else to give to him. The summer palace was also gorgeous, with Mr Z acting like a little kid because he somehow figured out static. That night, we were supposed to drink 56%, the beer we snuck back to the hotel. We named it such because it had 56% of alcohol. However, in the end, we chickened out because there was shopping to do the next day. Bought the cake for Lisa before going up and begged Mr Z to be allowed to go outside to see stuff. In the end, we bought KFC for the lot. I went to play late because I had to pack while Dhwani went up to Mr Z's. That night, we played till 2. Bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge! Still remember when Shu bid for 'Ace'. And she didn't even realise it which made us laugh. The late night players were Teo, Dhwani, Mr. Z and I. This time, Teo pulled a crazy wrong move and earned my glare. Also, Mr Z kept annoying me with his disturbances of the nice songs that were on channel V. So, I turned to him with a glare and said "Eh, I will sit on you okay!" I really forgot what happened after that, but Yong laughed so much and said she'd put that as her msn nick.

Day Six (the Last Day.)

Lisa, our local guide, is the best. She is the best because she is super fantastic. On the way to shopping, she told us that although we should bargain for the best prices, the prices are not very ex for us because we're rich. When there was no response, she smiled and said "I just make joke." To which we burst out laughing. The day before, we joked that the other guide was her husband, and that day, we asked if the cameraman from CNA was her friend. When she heard that she looked bewildered. "What? Yesterday, husband, today, friend." Over lunch we then asked if the bus driver was her brother, to which she replied candidly. "Next time I tell Agency to get all lady staff for girls' school. So you will not say everyone is my relative." Gosh, she is soo cute!

SHOPPING AND SHOPPING AND BARGAINING AND BARGAINING. And the Act Cute faces that I almost fell for. That was the life. Bought some many things, and I feel so satisfied!

At the Airport, we went to repack our stuff into the check-in luggage. Mr Z took a while, so Shu called out impatiently, "Mr. Z! Hurry!" To which she burst out laughing. When asked why, she grinned "Don't you get it? Z. hurry. Z hurry!" Well, say it fast and you might get it as well. So we stared at her for a bit before laughing ourselves. Esther sat with me on the plane. And she was being so BLUR.

Esther: What's in the UK?

Me: Britain, North Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

Esther: What do marine creatures have to do with the UK?

(Esther writes down 'New Zealand' in places she would like to visit)

Me: (looking over.) What's in New Zealand?

Esther: (looking at me with a 'duh' face.) Cows?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Here are the things I already miss.

- Rachel's 'Havoc' and the hand thing.

- Shu's 'Hamburger Slap!'

- Claire's constant laughing AT me. Like Arra, really. And somehow, she's ALWAYS there when I do something stupid.

- Kris's cute faces she does.

- Teo's 'piang eh' and Deannie's recording of it.

- Deannie's qian bian face.

-Sha's proclaimation of the great C.R.

-Dhwani's good-naturedness of her 'Dhwaning' Alter-ego

- Mr Z's laugh and ability to remind me of my BROTHER or all people.

-ZOOOOOOOOOOM (:

I LOVE THEM ALL! AND BEIJING! ((:

I'm leaving on a jet plane

It's a day away to China!

Tomorrow, at this time, I'll be butt-shipping to China. Via plane lah.

However, from then till now, I have a play to get to, stuff to do at Parkway, The bus time... And since I packed all my jeans into my bag, I have nothing to wear...

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WEAR A GODDAMN SKIRT.

Maybe just some pants or something. If I can dig through my closet.

It's times like this, one is thankful for jeans.

Only a few more hours..

Oh the anticipation..

And the Bridge! (:

Run to me whenever you're lonely

Beijing in 3 days! On the list before then? A play... And band.

Have to wear my white specs because technically, they're my 'main' pair... And I had to pair the spare (my brown thin frames) into my hand carry.

Finished packing all my necessenties (and some UNnecessenties) into the trolley bag.

Building Anticipation for the trip... I STILL hate planes and will forever hate them. Just can't shake off the air-sick feeling.. Especially during take-off and landing.. But usually, the rest of the trip is tolerable.

If anyone wants anything, I'll be getting gifts for people!

And I shall try to sleep on the plane.. If the temptation of bridge doesn't get to me first..

I'm SO excited for the trip, but the project just keeps knocking and knocking... sheesh..

And I'm outta here. (:

How's that for summarised?

Nobody gets too much heaven no more

Couldn't go online yesterday.. the connection failed me again and again. Settled for starting my Sims craze again... well, not really start.. it's hard to call it a craze when you play it according to mood swings. Is it? I really can't tell you..

Went for Ping's BBQ on Saturday which was utterly HORRID. I'm kidding. It was FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN. There... 5 funs for a horrid. Haha. Oh gosh, I have no idea what I am going on about..

Met Mel and Zing at Serangoon MRT. At this point, I wanna apologise to Mel because I really think telling EVERYONE about stuff that you say isn't very nice. I do it because it is really very cute! Nothing against you darling.. haha..

Hui Rou, Ting, Laura, Yan Yao and Janice were there as well.. Cramping in the playground was great, splashing in the pool (Haha, Mel..) and the video-taking which would not interest you-tubers at all.. heh. Kept eating and eating. Firstly, I thought I wouldn't eat so much, which I normally don't.. But we ended up eating when we laughed too much and felt all the food digest like a speeding bullet. And eating. And eating. The Fishball craze.... followed by Chicken.. and lastly, Sausages.

I don't have any pictures, although, if you ask nicely, Janice might give you some.

Then caught 135 with Yan Yao and Mel. Poor Mel dropped her wallet! I was practically freaked out, but Mel seemed extremely calm. If it was to stop herself from freaking out too, or because this wasn't the first time, I don't know. Anyway, decided to take 24 back home anyway. (loaned her 55c) Stopped 2 stops away from the MRT because silly me thought taking a cab from there would be more worth it.. again, the forces were against me. Because it was a REALLY ulu place, and my black outfit blended so well with the surroundings. So I just took any bus back to the MRT and walked home. I feel so stupid sometimes doing these kind of things... But I did save at least 2 to 3 dollars.. So that's something.

Today was my first day at Stan Chart working as the packing crew. For $20, we stuffed things in a bag, ate, shopped, ate, slacked in the hall, ate, played number games, ate, swept the floor and ate. For 20 dollars. Not alot of money.. But I think it was worth it. Bought my Chocolate cream Frap from Starbucks and my present for Mother. I think it's lovely. Still have a bit of the day's money left after buying soft dough cookies. Gonna use it for tomorrow. Sharlyn, Elena, Delicia and Yong Xian were there. Thank goodness for them, or I would've been SO majorly alone. I want the T-shirt!

Going to Beijing in 6 days... REALLY, REALLY dread the project.... It's SUCH a mood-killer... Rrrr..

And, I beseech you, the BIG GUY up there, stop giving me recurring dreams that are BETTER off classified as NIGHTMARES.

I make believe you care

So I play, I'll wait
'Cause you know that love takes time
We came so far
Just the beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone - Alone, the Bee Gees

Today was full of exercising! And it was so funn!! IF you cut out a bit here, a bit there.. Cycled and walked SOO much, my blisters had blisters. ECP is damn fun, I wish we could do it again. ((:

I think I had a dream about him again. I forgot what it was all about though. Even fact, I didn't remember when I woke up. Just the same nagging feeling I get when he pops up. And then I vaguely recalled seeing him somewhere... problem was, haven't seen him in a while. So i figured must've been a dream.

Anyway, truth is, I kinda forgotten all about him till today. That never lasts though. Enjoy it while it lasts, I always say.

I want a bike for christmas. If I still believed in Santa Claus, I would make him a list (with it, 20 bucks just so he'd see things my way.. hey. I think even St.Nick had flaws about him.) with BIKE written on top. In fact, my list would look a little like this:

(people like doing this on their blog for some apparent reason... like, if the people who read it would give it to them[said people who fall between ages of 10-20], or if their parents 'somehow managed' to have a look. Either way, I'm thinking, why the hell not? If other people find it helpful and to their advantage, I can try as well! Might as well get something out of it. )

1) A bike. (I have established my reasons.)

2) A Lenovo N100 with Intel Core Duo processor, at least a tetrabyte of memory, 2.5GHz processing speed, Surround sound system (from THX, no less.) and most importantly, sleek silver plastic covering that makes it durable and shock resistant. The RAM must be big too, of course, at least 2 gigs worth. (I KNOW my electronics.)

3) Modem speeds so fast, I blink slower than my laptop reacts.

4) An Ipod Video or a Creative Zen. (How commonplace. ): )

5) A good holiday job. (That interests me.)

6) The ability to lose the pounds. (Well, the strong, sheer willpower, rather.)

7) Basically to fufil my dream of owning an electronics store. With cameras, MP3s, PDAs, Laptops and LCD Plasmas for me to nick off.

8) And books. Short stories, romance (with substance), adventure, thrillers. You name it, I'll read it. Well, most of it. Some I might throw at you for sheer fun.

There! A cleverly, devised list. For the world to enjoy. Well, that really WAS exciting! Now I know why people did it.

I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean

It's official. I hate her. She and her stupid bitching ways. I can't say much, word gets 'round pretty fast these days. Anyway, some people may know whom I'm speaking of. Or not. Either way, she really got on my nerves. Just got on, sat on them and remained there till the end of time. It's just like her really, only I couldn't stand it anymore. Normally, it's tolerable, I don't condone her actions, which would be sadistic, but this time, just felt like stabbing her and smiling. It's not that I would get berated, people might stand and clap if that happened. Like a movie where at the end, the male and female leads finally get together. Happy ending, wouldn't it be?

Anyway, looks like the musical of my life is slowly reaching a point where the commonly heard lyrics will be 'Oh, what a shame.' and 'Dear, dear, how could this happen?'. Especially with the recent announcement about O.F.M. and oh, have I forgotten the ever-so-popular lyrics 'Girl, your life is ohhh-verrr!' Clap twice and pronounce me doomed. It's teenage time in the house of the Girl. Bullshit.

I don't feel like going tomorrow either. It kinda sucks that I have to pretend to be happy for some people when I don't like them very much. Of course, the feeling is mutual there, but we're too polite to point it out. Well, I am, anyway. Other parties make no fun in guessing what they feel about me since they wear those particular emotions on their sleeve. Might as well laser the words 'Fuck off' on my forehead. Maybe people'll actually heed some advice.

On the bright side, some people I miss and want to spend the day with are gonna be there, but I just have the feeling that with those other people, I might not have that much fun. But since you asked nicely, I'll put on a fake smile and breeze my way through the day, sieving all those unwanted comments. For you guys.

Reality aside, I'd finished 2 books since Chasing Charlie Duskin. The Man from Perfect (the usual romance book, with humour and a good plot, and without actual descriptions of things I don't wanna read. If you know what I mean.) And the latest book, 'Lucy Blue, Where are you?' No, not a children's poem book. A nice read actually, relaxing and not so mind-blowing. About a girl and a 13 hour drive with a stranger she knew nothing about. Well, something like that. I'm still deciding on the next book, should I continue on 'Teen Ink', a book I read in between mind-boggling pages of 'Where the truth lies'? It's 'Chicken Soup for the Teenage soul'. Exactly like it actually, but apparently with a difference I've yet to find. It's just one of those books you read abit, then put down because one can only deal with so much 'inspiration' without hurling. Well, technically, the stories in it may not be inspirational... There's your difference! Or another teen issue book i picked up? Or just some other book I thought I would find interesting but have no mood to read in the near future... The possibilites are endless...

And as I comtemplate all my recent happenings, I just can't wait for Beijing and Church Camp. The silver linings in my huge dark cotton-looking bundle of precipitation.

And this is how the story ends for today.

She want that lovey dovey (lovey dovey)
that kiss kiss (kiss kiss)
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me
They hatin on me (hatin on me)
they wanna diss diss (kiss kiss)
because she mine, and so fine
thick as can be - Kiss Kiss, Chris Brown feat. T-pain

I've got this icebox where my heart used to be

I just heard this quote off a piece of mail. It takes one minute to be impressed, one hour to be friends, one year to love, and a lifetime to forget. Operation F.M. down the goddamn drain. My life could be over emotionally as I know it. What now, huh? Denial? Like the past 3 years? Sure, that works.. for how long? Being a teenager sucks shit. Want a repeat of that?

Anyway, I woke up to a bad start this morning. My brother was in the toilet, which meant I had to use my mum's bathroom. (not a particular favourite of mine.) While changing, I stubbed my toe against the bed. And after I'd finished, it started to rain. Dragged my laptop into my bag and made my way to the bus stop with a seemingly too-small umbrella. (or maybe the umbrella's not the problem, huh?) The bus was going to take long, according to the schedule, so I decided to walk. Against my instinct. That's when the downpour hit me like Mike Tyson doing rounds. I was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY drenched and I was so concerned for my laptop. It had seen better days, this not being one of them. Met a catechism friend at the mrt(managed to do that while looking like I'd just came out of a fight with a moody lobster.) whose name I'd forgotten (I'm SOO SORRY.) And so I gave him a big smile (to the best of my abilities at the point of time.) while he acknowledged me with a sort-of 'act cool' nod. I'm not being mean, but it looked that way, and if it wasn't meant to be like that, again, I apologised. Anyway, I think his name was Kenneth. Like my brother's. That's a bad name to have. In my opinion. Again, I'm so sorry I forgot his name! I really feel quite bad about it. (thinking of how that would make ME feel.)

Thought the whole workshop would be a bore. It kinda was. (No offence to Joshua who tried to make it more interesting.) But Clarissa, Rachel and gang were a joy to have around. The food show was GREAT. I really wanna go to Hongkong! And I just noticed how all hongkeys (hehe.) sound the same! I SWEAR. The Lady Chef sounded like Auntie Elsa (ex-neighbour) and Lydia Sum! I hope my travelogue with Clarissa turns out great. We have this wonderful idea that I think rocks. haha.

And poor rachel got busted with 'lao' hero! Her face was extremely red! I love those guys, think I'll have TREMEDOUS fun in Beijing.

Apparently, the school is hooking up with wireless (something I didn't think would happen till I asked Mr. Collin for fun this afternoon.) So, it SHOULD be free. Unless otherwise.

You didn't hear it from me. (:

Finished another book today. Chasing Charlie Duskin. One of the usual teen reads, except this one made me water many, many times. It's like I always cry when I'm reading, but when it comes to movies, the waterworks have shut down. And here I thought I was more of a visual person.

Tomorrow is SNORE SNORE SNORE day. I don't actually snore. (My cousin doesn't believe me. 'Every plus-sized person snores!' Well, whaddyya want me to do? Learn?)

(This was added 15 mins later.)

FUCK MY BROTHER. STUPID, INSOLENT, IMMATURE PIECE-OF-SHIT THAT HAS EVER BEEN MY DISPLEASURE TO BE BORN BY THE SAME WOMAN. DIPSHIT.

It's like dreams coming true. In a dream.

I haven't been online in a while. When I mean a while, it means my laptop hasn't been touched by me since Friday night. Yeah sure, one day of avoiding the computer, big whoop!(as dear elaina might say.) But somehow, it feels like so long ago.

Maybe reading 'where the truth lies' just prolonged the seconds... the book was sometimes interesting to the point where i couldn't bear to put it down without groaning out my displeasure, and yet, sometimes a little monotonous that i sped read through that particular point. The plot itself already promised scandals galore to readers, and i sure wasn't disappointed. But it wasn't as if every corner and word in the book focused on these scandals alone. There were a few fleeting moments, scattered and far-in-between, that were really down-to-earth, and even touching per say. Holmes really is a good writer.

Saturday's band was not bad and quite 'fun' as quoted by Lian Ping. Well, the only reason why it was fun for her was because of the lack of scoldings she had gotten. Well, I'm happy for her. Whether it should be an occasion for my happiness on her account is entirely a different topic. Lunch was spent waiting tiredly as we 'tah pao-ed' food from the coffee shop and eating merrily at the void deck. 'Lunch is my favourite part of band,' said Ping happily, still munching on her noodles. When I'd commented that it wasn't technically band, she replied that along as the band was involved, it was counted.

At night, I went for mass at OLPS which was followed by quick dining at the nearest food outlet located at Bedok. In a detailed account, we ate chicken rice at the hawker centre. I almost died because I happened to leave my book unread at a particularly 'juicy' moment and was 'forced' to bear an hour of walking around bedok doing 'shopping'. In the end, I paid for the taxi ride home because I didn't want to waste any time I had to read my book by 'walking'.

I absolutely can't wait for the trip, whether or not the project we have to do (which cost more than $2000 apparently) has put a damper on my spirit.

And I really can't wait for 'havoc' to begin! (:

I had a picture of you in my mind.

Well, I haven't blogged in 3 days, because I felt I've been blogging too much. Yeah sure, no such thing as blogging TOO much, but what the hell, that's me eh?

Actually, well, honestly more than actually, rather, I've felt that I don't even know the purpose of my blog anymore. Sure, to vent is priority numero uno, but everyone does that, don't they? Kinda makes my blog feel like a clover in a never-ending field. One-in-a-million as the saying goes. A head in the crowd.

Whatever it is, I'm glad people still visit it, and I thank them.

Wednesday was extremely neutral. I say it's neutral because it was both horrible and exciting at the same time. Well, not AT the same time, rather, the same day. The exciting part was the fun briefing we had at the AVT about the beijing trip, Dhwani is my roomie, and Rachel promised 'Havoc' right at the moment which Mr. So (our 'tour guide' so to speak) clearly announced there was to be no nonsense from us.

The horrible part was band. Well, normally, it's fine. But it was just extremely horrible there and then. Ping says it will get better, especially since it wasn't a good day to begin with, so i won't go all out to say that I hate it. Just horrible is all. Not a good day, simply.

Going home was the worst part. I had the bags from CNA, my own bag, and the damn umbrella to lug home. From 2 metres away, I managed to called out to Dione n Jessie to get a cab. That's the nth time I've taken a cab. God forbid I shall feel fit enough to one day announce that, no matter what, I shall take the damn bus and shimmy my way home.

Thursday was the day I finally played contract bridge with Joan. She is SLOW. Haha, no offence on my part, she really was. I swear, we played with almost a dozen people, because they kept leaving. Bridge is fun, contract or not, although the former needs some getting-used-to.
It was also the day I went shopping with 2nd Brother and Mum. We went electronic-shopping, my FAVOURITE kind of shopping to do. And my brother, in what seemed to be an attempt to look cool, looked at a potential desktop and nodded with a sort of smugness going 'Well, this desktop we shall KIV.' And when I raised my eyebrow(to the best of my abilities) and gave him a confused look, he replied with the same smug look. 'Keep-in-view, of course.' I HAD to chortle at the attempt.

The important thing was, we got a HP desktop. My mother being surprisingly entertaining in the process.

Mum: What is this wireless keyboard and mouse thing?
Me: That means you don't need to connect it to anything to use.
Mum: That means need wire is it?

And when it came to my brother commenting on how he needed a new MP3,

Brother: I need an MP3 lah!
Mum: I have 2 news ones what! (refering to those 256Mb, $50 models.)
Me: (grinning like an idiot and trying not to laugh.)
Brother: Looking at Steph's face, I'd rather not.
Mum: Why? I have 2 new ones what! Right, Stephie? I have right?
Me: (nodding and still grinning.)

My mum can be so cute sometimes. (:

Friday, a.k.a. today, I went Expo-ing with Mother. We went to the book sale going on. It was fantastic! I was in pure heaven for 2 hours, with so much books to choose. In the end, I didn't buy all the books I wanted because some of them were too costly. But, I figure, libraries are good for those occasions.

We had to lug them books back because 2nd Brother took the car, and my slippers were killing me, because I wore the hard-soled ones. I'm currently reading 'Where the truth lies' after which, I shall be watching the movie adaptation.

Tomorrow is a Band Day, Gosh, I hope it's much better. So why do I have a feeling it will bomb?

"Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I could see it, I didn't wanna know" - Picture of You, Boyzone

And I can't find the other half

Well, my laptop is FINALLY fixed. After a long long time. And I'm so content! Not to mention what would probably be happening in the near future..

Leaving you with a picture teacher alvin took...

Send me the youth mass photos soon! (:

Isn'tthe angle of which light was captured onto the glass panel just brilliant? A natural work-of-art i would say. (:

My gosh.

I only have one thing to say.

MY LAPTOP IS SCREWED UP.

Stupid, Friggin', Fucking Laptop...

Omg, I really feel like taking it and smashing it against the marble table!

The Battery's almost dead now..

DAMN IT.

Bloody Hell.

Like I've never seen the sky before...

"Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time." - Moulin Rouge, Come What May

Know what? I feel oddly content. Ok, not content, per say. Maybe.. Indifferent? Fine, So they mean absolutely different things. Sue me.

I'm been listening to the same wardrobe of songs, but they're getting a little tedious. Well, a little. And today just wasn't really very interesting... Not really..

Same ol', same ol'.. Went to mass in the morning. Few things surprised me, most things didn't. Anne bailed out after she came down with a virus and refused to pass it to me. Bloody, noble girl. Just when I WANT sickness...

Went home after Wanton Mee at Geylang. Sometimes, when I read people's blogs, I think how lucky they are that they get to go to Fancy, expensive-no-less places to chow. It just inspires (well, pushes) me to work harder to live a life I want. Not fancy dining, or living, just a life where I don't look at people and think "I can't afford that. Don't even think about it." But where I know I can AFFORD the Shangri La buffet but think, "nah, it's a waste of money anyway."

I want the same for my entire family so badly. I want the childhood that was ripped from me so suddenly, I didn't know what was happening till it was over. I want wanting toys for christmas that other kids got even though I knew I wasn't going to play with them after a month. I want no more suffering my mother went through, pain that I can only hear about, and not feel, because it was just so intense. I want my mother to never have to lift a finger again. I want my brother to get his wishes of settling down soon because I know he is working so hard to do that. I want my other brother to succeed in his music career. I want to give my family anything and everything I can just because I love them so much. I want the life we deserve and no more pain.

Wow... when I run off-track, I REALLY run, huh?

Well, anyway, my computer is on the fritz again.. No surprise there..

You know how some people don't know what they wanna do for the future? I don't want that. But is that really what I should be doing? I really don't know.

This is the great thing about my blog. I run off-track like, again, and again, and it's ok. Because it's not some stupid essay. It's just me. And my run-away imagination.

Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight! (Well, it's supposed to be 'merry christmas'.)

Everytime you look my way

Got this from Joan's blog. Thought I should post it up. Seems that alot of my pictures were taken with them... Shows how cam-whore-ish they are. MWAHAHA.

I'll sorely miss you guys though... Smile and Be happy always! Shit happens, so suck it up. (:

Gonna sleep now. Heard that mother? Hehehe..

So this is where the story ends.

I just spent the last 15 mins searching for the cordless. It's habit for it to appear 90% of the time NOT on the stand where it's SUPPOSED to be. Someone had called and I, being the last one in the living room, went dilligently to pick it up. Well, it wasn't on the stand (surprise, surprise.) But it wasn't on the couch, dining table, chairs or beneath the cushions either...You know.. where it usually is found? So anyway, my dad, hearing that the cordless was missing, starting grumbling about our organising skills, or lack thereof. And then my mother and I begin the Great Hunt for the Cordless.

It was stuffed in between the couch.

My mother's reply? "See? So clever." Like finding the phone stuffed in the couch was a good thing.

So anyway, my mum wants me to turn in early. Goodness, woman! It's only 9pm! Apparently, we're attending the 9.15am mass tml... And then anne's coming over with anabelle. That'll be quite weird, seeing as how I'm not close to anabelle.. but i'll give it the good ol' BOTD. (Benefit of the doubt for the sake of some.) But then, it's swim time! Again, not neccessarily a good thing. I LOVE the water, but still..

My laptop's connection is on the brink of collapsing... I don't know when I'll get my new laptop. Mother says if I want one, we need 'good ol' bro' to go with us. But Brother doesn't think I need a comp and is trying oh-so-hard to convince mother to get a more expensive desktop instead. Erm, okay, honestly, I may not need it now, but come JC, I will. Of course no one will understand, because no one has gone that far in their education to. Try telling THAT to my brother.

Going for the 9.15 mass is not neccessarily a good thing. Reasons will not be stated here. And wow, what do i WEAR?

No, I'm kidding.

Probably jeans.

Or a skirt?

Hmm....

Anyway, I just love my new blogskin! I think it's SOO nice! Judging by how I don't have photoshop, this is SOO top-notch. Brilliant. Clever. Smart. Fantastic. Oh the words!

To see my other skin, click on the credit link (the 'yours truly' one) because i'm WAYY too lazy to hyperlink it. I made a total of 3... the third one having spent it's debut here for a span for 2 days. (Or was it one?) to see it, go to my photoshop page. I doubt anyone really wants to.. but if you do.. my photoshop account is babygurl6292. I don't know the link (too lazy to look for it.) so if you REALLY wanna see it and don't know how, ask me.

"Cuz' this is real, and this is good. It warms your insides just like it should." - Built to last, Melee

Maybe we'll fly the night away

"Being a Talkative is a Privilege. Being true friends is life."

Thank you for the best times of my life. (: I love you guys!

Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

I almost started playing Dark Cut 2... but I was munching on some pears and the sudden boom as the game started almost made me choke, not to mention the weird sounds and graphics that almost made me throw up. Ok, I'm a bit of a coward.. sue me.

Anyway, I decided to write this, especially after reading mel's blog. So Mel, whenever you read this.. (tomorrow, or the day after..) remember that you inspired this. And FOR GOODNESS SAKE, please tag. Thank you. (:

I realised that I'll be Sec4 next year. Yes, I can hear the 'ohh's and the 'aiyoh's, however, I'm still gonna pen this down, so suck it up.

When I first entered Secondary School, my brothers' first (impressively mature) words to me were 'You'd better enjoy yourself alot, it'll pass by in a flash.' I didn't believe him. Yeah, Primary School rocked hell, but I felt it still took too long to end (must be PSLE..) so why should Sec Sch be any different? Boy, were they right. (Like, a new record.. one in a row!)

Next year will definitely be not-as-rocky as this year was. Emotions ran so high, like the unpreditable tidal waves, there were times I cried for sadness, times I cried for pure happiness and contentedness. I found my true friends in this year, though I felt I knew who they were since sec 1 or 2, this year was when i KNEW who they were.

And not only will I miss my class terribly, I'll miss my church friends too. That's harder. more than TWICE harder. I mean, I've known them for 10 years, that's more than my life, two-thirds to be exact. What would I do after they leave me? Sure, Nat and Belle are joining the YC, but what about joan? and tiara? even sam? Especially my annoying looooongest-i've-ever-known JOAN. She apparently wants to remain passive in church. What then? A decade of friendship slowly forgotten? I don't want that. I really want us to remain bonded as ever.

Hopefully, wishing on stars work like people say they do...

"Cause you caught me off guard, now I'm running and screaming..." - Hero/Heroine, Boys like Girls

I've looked for love in stranger places

I would like to thank my readers (as silent as they may be.) for their support. Haha, BUT, my blog may close permanently sometime next year. I'll leave my posts up here of course, so I can read it sometimes myself.

And I'm quite excited about the Beijing Trip! My hols are quite packed as it is..I don't even know how I remember my own schedule sometimes.. but it's really too late to do anything about it.. i can't write it down now because, as mentioned, I don't know what's gonna happen.

I'm even working this holiday! But it's only for two days... And I'll probably not get much money. Still, money is money. And I do need quite a bit of expenses..

Can someone please play contract bridge with me?! Share in the excitment! Well, actually, the initial excitment is wearing off... My new love is Happyland adventures... I don't know if I should download it or save it for those boring lessons in Comp Lab 4.

SPA was so TIRING. I can't have both sciences' SPA in one day, it's just too much!

An update on Operation F.M.... So far, doing quite well... just gotta try and control my memories... which is impossible you know? Oh well...

A 'shoutout' for Anne darling, Joan the Tortoise (why, Anne, why?), and the Beauty and the Beast?? Anne is SO hilarious sometimes huh? You do NOT want to know who she says the beauty and the beast are. But some people might think it obvious. I didn't. Hopefully we can go tan ourselves huh? Or maybe this announcement was too early. Hmm.

"I want to swim away but don't know how, sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down, let the rain come down. " - Into the Ocean, Blue October.

Let Me Count Thy Ways

There's no school tml for me, but I would like to wish all the HMT students good luck. Anyway, I either have very quiet readers or none at all. Cuz no one's been tagging... Anyway, it's good and bad either way. That means I can prob crap away without fear of losing any readers, and it also means no one finds my blog good enough.. oh well.. either way... I'll accept things the way they are.

So far, Operation F.M. has been quite successful. And then I question why I started it in the first place... then I say it's for my own good. Well, I hope I know what I'm doing anyway.. I could end up hurting a few in the process. Don't want that happening..

I recently downloading a couple of songs.. Quite new, quite not-so-new. Either way, they're very enjoyable. Fade Away by Olivia is the best calming song ever. So jazzy in a sense, and smooth... it's also easy on the ears, great for breaks, or something to listen to before a nap. And it's so.. even... I mean, you know how some songs jump from being so quiet to becoming so incredibly loud all of a sudden.. this one's quite soft, i guess, but just so classy! Haha.. I'm advertising something for free okay, make use of it. Oh! I know the perfect words to describe it! Bar music. I can almost imagine myself back in the Equatorial Hotel, sipping on a Shirley Temple and listening to this song. Ohh the life..

It's the meet-the-parents thing tml, and honestly, I don't know if I'm more afraid of my mum meeting Ms. Tee or Ms. Tee meeting my mum. They may SEEM to mean the same thing, but trust me. They are different.

And I'll either get my computer fixed tml, or get a new one. WHOO. Well, I hope I do anyway, with my mum, it's never certain.

Have I even mentioned Contract Bridge yet? It's fantastic! At first, it was awesome, and then I realised there were a lot of things i didn't know.. hence, I found it confusing and not enjoyable. But now, I've learnt quite abit of strategy playing, and i LOVE it! Honestly, it's alot better than the original one, because more thinking is involved and the original sometimes makes me irritated because my partner has no idea that she is. OF course, apparently, that's the fun part, but it does get irritating after a while. Contract bridge is still the BOMB.

And Hearts is another game I learnt. So strategic! Sometimes it's confusing if someone is trying to avoid the hearts or trying to get them all. Again, learn it to love it.

My new passion comes from cards. Anyone wanna teach me a new game? I catch on fast. (:

"You see, I know it's just a crush, and a crush will never last, no. No one's forcing it boy."

It's just the beginning of things.

Well, Day Numero Duos of my Operation Forget and Move On has been unsuccessful thus far. It was a little easier remembering what caused the operation to begin in the first place, but forgetting has been so hard. This is like some sick epic movie. In a few years, I would have the ability to stand up and say 'Getting over you has been the most difficult thing I've had to do.' IF i ever get to say it that is.

It's not helping that the sudden change of attitude was the trigger in which caused it. It's just instinct feeling you know? It hurts so terribly. This WILL be the most emotional time of my life. I hope it IS anyway, I doubt I can take anymore of it. And to think the change happen within a span of less than 12 hours...

I really tried today. But environment and circumstances prevented me from doing anything about my emotions and I ended up thinking about it alot. Didn't help that the environment was a huge cause for my problems.

And well, hopefully this arrangement will last for a while...I think what happened today was a blessing in disguise in a way... if the morning didn't happen, then it would be great. Incredibly hard and painful, but great nonetheless.

I really don't know what I'll do. If ever there there was a mortal version of the oblivion curse, I'll be the first in line to get it.

I just want to forget, is that so hard?

Should I totally erase this part of my life? Yes. The Answer is, I should.

Goodbye.

Hey, your friends are together, side by side and year by year,
The road was filled with twists and turns.
Oh, but that’s the road that got us here.
Let’s move past the bad times.
But before those memories fade…
Let’s forgive, but not forget the love from all the mistakes we made.
-Come so far, Got so far to go. (Elijah Kelly, Zac Efron, Nikki Blonsky - Hairspray Soundtrack)

We've come so far.

Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful...

making love with you is all I want to do...

Loving you is more than just a dream come true...

And everything that I do is out of loving you..

-Loving You by Tynisha Keli. Animation by animationlibrary.com

********

I guess all good things must come to an end sometime. It was a good run anyway... Guess I had lots of fun (and suffering) in the process. Now just to figure out how to forget and move on...

That's gonna be the hard part. I need lots and lots of willpower. Which I obviously have none of.

Oh well... Off to hell for me! I just hope I come out of it in one piece... unscatched if I'm lucky.

*******

I just love my new matress.. it was about time I got one anyway... Now to try and get a good night's sleep after a few failed times.

And Happy hasn't been around for some time... maybe that's why I feel so sad..

*******

"Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the spring time."

Some lyrics are just so corny you want to laugh. And yet, sometimes it's like an uncanny relation to your emotions.

Deep, huh?

Ignore and Walk away.

Ok. This post will be hidden because it will make no sense to many people. I just need to vent out some random things that aren't important. Have a nice day and remember, If it feels all cold in the world, you just left the window open.

OMG! Can you just stop making a fool of yourself??? It's like no one really cares that u exist lah!! GOSH, you are absolutely annoying you know??!! HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. of course it would sure HELP if SOMEONE WOULD give you a HINT or TWO.

And I AM NOT GAY. WTF is WRONG with you??!! GOSHH!!! You were the IDIOT flirting with me in the FIRST PLACE!! i TOLD you i wasn't PRETTY. BUT IM NOT GAY. i bet you think i'm a man don't you?? GOSH... you SICKEN me!!!

FUCK YOU too!! No one has EVER talked to me like that and no ONE WILL. You think you're SUCH a big shot don't you??!! Well, BITCH IS YOU.

GOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH... WHY DO I KEEP MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF???? IS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I AM SUFFERING?? I STILL HAVE TO BEAR WITH IT FOR ANOTHER HALF YEAR.. AND MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN THAT. I SOMETIMES WISH THIS COULD ALL STOP.

I feel SOO MOODY NOW. i hate MALES so MUCH. 'ohh shiittt. u r gay. bye' Fuck you buddy. Fuck you.

THERE. FEELING MUCH BETTER.

I hate dragonflies, don't you?

Mood Swing

Operation Clean-up is so much fun!

"Throw it away... forget yesterday..' HAHA! Poor Vic!

'We should get Jerseys..' 'Cliched!' 'AND I KNOW THAT IT'S SO CLICHED...!'

'What song should I sing?' 'School Song.' -after short pause- 'We cannot all be heroes...'

And screaming with the water squirting thingy! Nuzul! Hahaha...

Sometimes Class is absolutely crazy and enjoyable.

It's just one of those days you never wanna forget...

I love you guys! (:

I got 4th in class! I share that place with Fan and Elaina. The results itself is not up to standard...but I think I could do much worse..

And only 2 more days till chinese ends... what a killer.

The little things that make you weep

I felt quite moody today. There's a reason. I mean, there should a PLAUSIBLE reason right?

Why is it the same person that I share laughs with almost made me cry today?

It was really hard holding it in. I almost broke down in the end. What stopped me? Sheer willpower. Not to let them have the glee of watching me.

I don't want to hide my blog posts. I think the world should share in my misery. Fuck them anyway.

At least my other friends used to be honest with their feelings. I don't know whether they're shitting me or not.

As you can see, this is a great contrast from yesterday. I swear, I'm going crazy any moment now.

Why is being a teenager so hard? And why can't people just be honest? I don't CARE if you dislike me, I'll complain, don't fret, but at least I'll know. GOD, i HATE it when people just ACT like they still want me around even when deep down, they'd rather wrestle with snakes. OH TRUST ME, I'll give them the fucking snakes ANY DAMN DAY.

I really don't get it. I'll never change. I know they won't either, and I accept that. Can't they accept me? No. The truth is just that. I fucking HATE this! Now I'm questioning MY OWN esteem when I should be smacking their smirks off.

I swear, if I could count the number of people I consider my true and honest friends, I need only one hand. One damn hand. The others are just shadows I hang out with for pride purposes.

Pride and Reputation can be overpowering after all. I got that from a Fan Fiction.

I swear, someTHINGS are not worth 10 years. Not even one.

I just wish I could be a better niece and miss my auntie more.

Maybe I would have had someone to talk to. Even if she irritates me to no end.

But that's just life.

And the people not worth my time and effort are those that make me question my existence on earth.

If i remember this, I'll never make friends again.

Wake me up in 10 years please, when this whole shit nightmare is OVER.

-------

On the bright side, I'd be outta here in a year more or less. I shall spend more time on books and not worry shit about these idiots ever again.

And I'm going swimming with Raman later. What will I ever do when she leaves? I don't want to think about it.

Soup of Cream and Potato Wedges with Cheese.

I think today was really enjoyable.

That's right elaina, I ENJOYED it. so SUE me.

Using Joan's words, This was the most fun I've ever had at parkway.

Poor belle and her internal bleeding. And i really THINK we've officially joined the Youth Council! I ain't kidding!

I LOVE the YC!! With Audra(aka. Audwa or Audea), Manny (the Man.), Andrew(not-the-'boss' of choir), Annye (i don't know which spelling it is.) and the other people like Joshua (TEO.), Sabrina and Valerie! But they're YFs.

And we were late for lunch because of liturgy.. they went burger king to eat and we ended up buying sushi from giant. The sushi is NICE. and cheap. like REAL cheap.

Went to the secret hideout... can you believe how cold it is? Actually, the corner wasn't so cold. Taught the boys bridge. It is seriously such a fun fun fun game! I swear, I'll never get tired of it..after that we really couldn't tahan the cold anymore and left.

Went to CSC to bowl. With bumpers! They're my new best friends. Ok, I suck at bowling. Like, majorly. But bumpers are cool! They are SO AWESOME. Joan agrees with me. We're the bumpers team! And joan is a happy kid. I'm just a noob using bumpers.

With BUMPERS i challenge elaina to a bowling game! And i'll use the bumpers to help me score my spares! WHOO! Bumpers are the new LOVE.

Woah. I said bumpers like, many times. Bumpers. That was for added emphasis.

And the potato wedges are nice! with cheese! WHEE. I scored a 72 for bowling! I ROCK. ((:

We had make-your-own popiah night! It's been a REALLY long time since we've had popiah night! Popiah night is soo GREAT. I have great popiah-making skills... You should compare my popiahs to the rest of the family. My plate is so clean by the end of the night, it's like i never used it.

Honestly, good day. And free bowling too. No, i am NOT some girl whose 'mind was driven by the evils of money' as dear elaina says. HAHA. It's a free game! (well, games.) Who wouldn't want it?!

I want to be born in the year of the tomato!

Cause this was Built to Last

You know what? I hate males.

No, I'm not a hard core feminist or something like it. Like Doris Lessing said, shouting about men is just self-indulging.

15 years living in a male-dominated family does change one's perspective though. Like, GIGANTICALLY.

My brothers can be SUCH HUGE pains, you know. like MAJORLY MAJORLY just-wanna-tear-off-their-heads-and-stuff-them-in-boiling-oil annoying.

They have absolutely little-to-no respect for me, because apparently, little sisters don't deserve any.

Well, that's just them isn't it? The stupid neanderthals that is the human male just makes you wanna kill yourself because of their lack of sensitivity and minds.

"Oh, don't complain when I'm helping you set up your keyboard, I don't like it."

YOU don't like it?? You were the jerk who took out my keyboard in the first place, and for SOME reason, dismantled it in your own ROOM.

And of course, there's the accusation of me being SELFISH because, apparently, I ASKED why he wanted to use my laptop.

IM SORRY! I didn't know what I asked was SOO rude! And here, I thought that was a PERFECTLY fine question.

Right now, NOT liking males so much. I have SOO much problems in dealing with the opposite sex. Is it because I'm not trim or something? Is that some sort of factor?

Like taking me for granted. Thinking I'll ALWAYS help because I'm 'nice'.
I mean... he's probably thinking "Oh, she has a crush on me! I'll just use her and then completely DISS her! That's alright!'

It's bad enough everything just seems to fall out of place in my life, I tell myself he's not worth it. And then, a week later (or sooner.) I'm practically running to the moon for him. I hate that.

Oh, woe is me. The irritating bitches making my life a living hell which are the teenage hormones. A girl can't catch a break, OH NO... that'll be out of protocol. Unorthodox.

Maybe I'll just end up like one of those old maids that get cats. I hope not. I don't have a particular fondness for felines.

I know one thing. To like someone like me, you need incredible tolerance. That's something not many people I know have. So, basically, most people in my life are just tolerating me. That kinda sucks, doesn't it? Knowing you don't really have much friends who like you for who you are.

Maybe that's why I have problems with boys.

Play that funky music

I can't believe I did that. How could i be soo stupid?!

Honestly, I just wish someone would kill me now. I have not much regrets, I've led a good enough life, I've had a good run. So just kill me.

I mean, OMG, will you? Sheesh.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

This will haunt me forever. As if I don't have enough on my plate as it is.

I hate myself.

I hate THAT AARRGGH.

I hate for AARGH to do this to me.

AARGH, I hate you. You heard that? I DESPISE YOUR EVERY FIBRE OF BEING THAT HAS EVER BEEN MY DISPLEASURE TO WALK ON THE SURFACE OF THIS EARTH.

Why Couldn't I have chosen someone else??! WHY, GOODNESS, WHY?!!?

***

On a higher note, The shepherd's pie dinner was exquisitely delectable.

That's all for today.

The Eye of the Tiger

I miss Happy so much!! I think he is absolutely soo adorable!

The thing is, he likes to sniff too much. And i think he's too horny because he humps things.

Anyway, There's catechism tomorrow.

And I want to join the YC. Or the YF. Whichever.

Gosh! I feel so lazy! I don't want to blog!!

My exam results are in. So far, I don't know what to make of them. BUT... i haven't failed anything. Yet. (STUPID, STUPID CHINESE.)

Seven Nation Army

I just love life sometimes. Doesn't everyone? It seems to drift by.

I'm having a normal day. It's these days that really count.

Just posting random pictures, because these moments are unforgettable.

Have a great day darling!