Let’s pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen

I had the most horrible dream last night. Which was (I guess) appropriate since I couldn’t stop freaking about it last night.

I dreamt that I got my results back. Firstly, the result slips came on those old exercise book papers. And it was handwritten.

I got A’s for math and chem. But then I got a ‘V’ for GP. I don’t even know what a ‘V’ is! But in the dream, apparently I knew it was a horrible grade. (Well duh… if A is the highest, a V can’t possibly be good..)

Anyway, I was so upset with that grade because I knew I definitely didn’t deserve a V. Apparently, this guy from Cambridge then helped me ‘call in’ and found out that I spelt a lot of things wrong. Like DENA instead of DNA and paln instead of plan. =/

And then I found out I got a ‘T’ for one of the other subjects. That would mean I cheated on the exam. Which totally didn’t happen and completely took me by surprise!

I remember being completely shocked and upset and just crying about my horrible results.

Anyway, I really just hope it doesn’t happen next week. o.0

I was smiling so much yesterday when Alex told me he wanted to support me through college. I mean, it came as quite a shock. And it’s really not an option to migrate over to the US. But the gesture was still so sweet.

I think this may go well. :)

And they told me I don’t need to worry

I think I’m starting to freak out about universities and results and scores and finances. And I just read this HORRID review on Manchester by this law school kid. Although, in all fairness, he seems pretty mad about everything in the world. So, you know. It’s probably just him.

Still, It’s horribly scary to know that I only have ONE week before the horrors that pained and overwhelmed me last year come RUSHING back to me on one slip of paper.

Oh dear God, I have such a horrible horrible feeling. Suddenly, I think I didn’t do well on anything and everything I wrote in Econs was crap. And Physics was definitely a killer and I’d probably get a C or D. OH DEAR GOD. A ‘C’.

And I think I completely screwed the GP essay, so THAT’S down the drain. And OMG CHEMISTRY. I probably flunked that too. I only have math to my name now. I think I should just pursue math. That’s it. I love math so much, right? So, that’s always a good choice.

I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore! Words just pour out of my mouth in rapid fashion, killing EVERYTHING in its path!

I think I need to calm down and not die.

Hopefully things don’t go as badly next week. :(

Scattered all around the floor.

So, I think I made my decision?

Then again, maybe it’s the whole idea of love nonsense thing again.

OH DEAR GOD I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

The world’s so wild, but you built your own paradise.

Wow. I am like Aunt Abby this week. Solving people’s problems and cheering them up.

It’s ironic cuz’ I’ve always pictured myself as a very emotionally inept person. I mean, I’m great with knowing when to show emotion and when not to, but dealing with people’s feelings has never been my strong suit. In fact, it was proven in my emergenetics profile I did when i was 16. I am 3% social. I think of people’s feelings the very last when it comes to dealing with problems.

Anyway, I’m glad I have driving tomorrow. I really need the practice. I think I forgot a lot of things already. =/

And…… I have to be very very careful.

Yup. That’s it!

I could really use a wish right now

So. I mentioned about the whole monkey zodiac thing.

And a few days ago, I posted about the idea of love.

And WOW does God work fast.

Well, too fast, too soon. No break.

Two guys from two different countries.

And I think I know my choice. But then again, what do I know?

So now, I’m just all woozy.

And kinda excited about the beginning of a relationship? Although it IS long distance.. urgh.

Take on me

Elaina read the zodiac monkey thing at parkway and told me this year was gonna be a good year. But that we would break a lot of hearts.

Very interesting… Indeed.

The dust has only just begun to fall,

Dear You,

When you cried over the phone, I really wished I was there to hug you. I felt so helpless when you were wailing and all I could do was verbally comfort you from what seemed like the other side of the world.

I was never very good with comforting words, so I really hope you felt a lot better when we hung up.

I know it hurts sometimes. And sometimes, it feels like nobody in the world loves you anymore. And you feel like there’s no one on your side anymore. But you have to understand, you are so loved. No matter what you think, or how others treat you, you have to know how lucky you are.

I know it may not seem like a blessing now, but give it some time. You’ll realise that you are so lucky to have a family like yours. No matter how cruel they seem to be. You’ll also understand how much they love you some day. It’s only when you truly love someone and feel completely comfortable with that person that your worst is brought out. Because you know they’ll still love you at the end of the day no matter how crazy everyone acts.

Whenever you feel upset, try writing a letter telling the people how much hurt you feel. And how much you want to scream and punch things. Then, when you feel better, either make a plane and fly it into the sky (so Jesus can receive your cry for help) or crush it and tear it and let all your anger out.

OR, try screaming really hard into your pillow. It helps. Seriously, it does. More than you think, actually.

Whatever you do, just remember that at the end of the day, you should be the better person (wonder who told me that when I was having problems with a certain guy…) and say sorry first.

I know it’s hard, but someone’s gotta do it, right?

But take it slow. Don’t need to start getting angry again, yeah?

Anyway, know that I love you and that I’ll be here whenever you wanna just talk or when you wanna get something off your chest. :DD

From your extremely good friend who loves you loads,

Stephy.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone

I think I’m in love with the idea of being in love. And who can blame me? The propaganda that the TV and movies feed you sure doesn’t help.

Sometimes it’s hard to resist temptation, you know? The first guy that’s remotely nice to you and you immediately think he’s probably THE ONE.

I sure sound like a sap right about now.

But that’s the truth of the matter.

I guess when it comes to love, it’s a risk-it-all or die trying sort of business.

I guess it’s especially hard when you realise that none of the guys around you fit your description of the perfect guy. Or at the very least, a good guy that likes you for who you are.

And when you resort to trying to go online in search of guys, they all either turn out crappy or… crappily horny.

Maybe it’s the whole ‘Valentine’s Day’ spirit still lodged down there somewhere. I don’t know.

All I know is, some people are really lucky they found someone special, and yet, they don’t treat it as well as they should.

Horrible, horrible feeling.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

Yeah. I should stop playing pool. For my own sanity.

Seriously.

Don’t tell me not to fly, I’ve simply got to.

So, I think I’m pretty racist.

Yeah. That’s not very good right.

Okay. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

So, I’m unemployed. And I bum around at home when I’m not tutoring or terrorising the streets of Singapore.

I play pool when I’m bored. It’s actually pretty fun, relaxing, plus I get to chat with people I don’t know, and sometimes I get to make stuff up about myself so that’s always great.

And well, a lot of Indians like to play pool too, apparently.

Which is great and all, but they like to talk to me. Which can get annoying.

And I mean, I just clam up when they tell me they’re Indian. So, you know, I’m officially racist.

But you know what? Everyone’s a little bit racist. Some people can’t stand Jews, some can’t stand the Irish.

So I’m not exactly ‘hot’ for Indians. Well, it’s a preference.

Doesn’t make me a bad person.

Does it?

HAHA. Oh, the things you blog about when you’re bored.

Oh right. And a 55-year-old man wanted to KISS ME!!!! YUCKSSS

On the day that you were born, the angels got together.

I’m getting better at driving. I can turn and move on my own without much help. Only a bit of help here and there when I start freaking out and forget to hit the clutch.

And I can park (albeit, only on the curbs.)

I really can’t wait to drive on my own. It’s so cool! =D

Currently, I’m being all nostalgic. I downloaded the Carpenters. Such classics.

I figured that while I do enjoy mainstream music, I really do prefer the classics. Plus, there’re so many new songs nowadays, it’s so hard to keep up. And, oldies rock. You gotta admit it.

So, I’m going to get my hair done for fun. Cuz’ I am that bored. And since I haven’t really been spending money on myself (besides the cash used for driving and you-know-what) I decided that I needed this little treat.

Tomorrow, I wanna go shopping and buy stuff.

I do enjoy being unemployed. It has its perks. =))

Yesterday once more

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs

When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile
Those were such happy times

And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more