It seems I found the road to nowhere and I'm trying to escape.

It is like trying to feel around my heart for something that isn't there.

"I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say"

I just can't be rid of the trepidation that something will happen. Something bad. I don't want to have tuition today because I feel that the whole world will crumple. It sure as hell doesn't make sense, but what does?

Anyway, I'm sitting against the wind, the laptop perched on the ledge of the table while I try to figure out some things. What I am trying to say here, is that, at any moment in time, life as we know it could be changed forever.

It is a sad thought, and one that under no circumstance one should think about. But, I mean, we all have our moments.

Right now? I am currently awaiting the arrival of my Chinese teacher, as well as eagerly awaiting the start of church camp. And so, my wait begins. In a parallel universe, of which is not fantasy, but very true and happening, I could be doing all these things and then, BAM!

Nothing.

Which is why I think we should all stop taking for granted the simplicities of life that come to us so easily.

What I am trying to put across, with the use of simple english, is definitely not an easy feat. It really is hard to say what is going on my mind right now, because all I can figure out is a bit here, a bit there. To question WHY I am living on earth is not based on science or any other earthly metaphor. It is really a mental, spiritual thought.

If I start now, I will never stop. Hence, I decide to leave you with these words:

If you don't start truly living now, then when? If you don't start appreciating and untucking your head out from your arse, then when? If you can't give back to God, what God gave you, isn't that just defeating your main purpose on earth?

The innocence of the situation.

I swear! At this moment, my stars are not ALIGNED!

I am CRAVING for PIZZA SOO MUCHH... AHHH..

Call me a pig, I wouldn't correct you.

I couldn't let my mother know I was ordering, so I had to wait till she went into the room. Which was at 11.05pm. When the Delivery services close at 11!! 11!! OH THE HUMANITY!

I have to CONTROL myself. NO MACS OR KFC. Tomorrow, we FEAST!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, you're only a day away!

Oh, and I would like to take this time to thank my number one loyal reader: Melissa Chia Yan Ling. For without her, this post would not have been Mel-friendly. It now is.

And I would also like to add that Facebook is annoying because notifications come every 5 minutes. Hence, I have to say that I am not addicted to it, I just need to clear those bloody notifications. Of course, being the hypocrite that I am, half those notifications were made by me.

And before I get tempted to eat the laptop, let me just say that I think Karma can be a bitch.

Hey Mel! Mel-friendly enough for you? (:

An Inadequate Excuse

I never wanted to go let of him. We had spent the entire day together, and now, I just couldn't believe it was going to end. It had to be a dream, I thought to myself. There was no way something like this could happen to me. I was not fitted, simply, not worth it.

But apparently, I was. And for those few hours, even if it was for a few hours, I felt special to him. Special. I have always thought of myself as special, but for all the wrong reasons. I was special because I wasn't like other girls. I couldn't talk about clothes, mainly because I could barely fit into any. I couldn't talk about boys because it would probably be like insulting them. But that was it, wasn't it? Maybe it was my 'unique-ness' that attracted him.

And again, my thoughts spiraled into a never-ending string of stupid. I thought of his swept up mop of hair, his soulful eyes, the way he grinned at me lopsided like we had something secret no one else knew. And then I thought of the number of girls he had openly shown affection to. I seemed to be the only one. But that was what I had seen, and I wasn't with him all the time; Whether I wanted to be or not. Maybe it's just a game, I try convincing myself. But my heart seems to rather think that every boy who talks to me has some sort of crush on me. It is really ludicrous, but what is a girl to do?

This time, I knew for certain. It wasn't just a crush. And yet, I couldn't say I had fallen for him. I just wasn't that kind of person. A person who takes every single emotion as it is. I grab those emotions, tear them into pieces, and analyse each piece. A little obsessed? Yes. But that's the way I keep my emotions in check, and now, it seemed that they were losing control on their own and were slowly swirling around my heart sucking it into a vortex...

(An excerpt from a currently in-progress book, An Inadequate Excuse)

Seasons may change, Winter to Spring

It's a lazy, lazy weekend. I went for mass yesterday, so today's a totally free day for me. Been on facebook the whole day. Gosh, it does get addicting, trying to add so many applications and all. Only went on facebook to get all the pictures, but it seems that I have been sucked into its warp.

Today I post pictures, I promised myself so much. So, without further a do,

Sharan n I at the Great Wall

Cam-whoring on the plane!

Deannie and I with some Chinese pig.

Dhwani and I, on the bus, I think.

Yong and I at Beijing Int. Airport.

The Ah-lian poses of Group A. And Mr. Z. The constipated-looking one.

Claire and I, looking at banners at an angle.

The Rachels and I, CCTV station.

(from left) Kristen, Me, Yong, Mr. Z. At the China Millenium Monument.

So Artistic, ahhh.

Kris, Yong and I eating Ice-cream at 5degrees celsius.

Apparently, I am staring at Deannie's food. I don't know why..

Claire, Yong and I looking Dao for the camera. Well, not Yong.

On the plane. I think I was traumatised by air pressure.

Claire and I, location currently forgotten.

(from left) Deannie, Me, Claire, Kris, The Chinese Art Teacher, Yong and Teo. Waiting for our food at a restaurant near the school.

Chelsea(from Haising) and I. Ain't she cute?

Mr. Z looking smug because he has figured out the 'magic' of static electricity. Esther thinks he acts like a little boy sometimes. No one disagrees.

Yong, Deannie, Shuyin and I. Going Home..

The Beijing Trip people. Without Teo.

WARNING: May bore the unsuspecting and unappreciative.

Let's see what I can recount from my short-spanned, sieve-like memory.

Day One

Woke up REALLY early to get to the airport. Slept for less than 4 hours, so I felt so drained and wasted. Did the usual airport crap, check-in, chatting with the rest (this particular action repeats itself throughout the entire trip.) and group photos here and there.

The plane trip was uneventful, Yong and Teo were sickly because of air pressure. I felt a bit nauseous too but that was due to lack of sleep and the fact that I can't stand plane smells. They gag me. Anyway, the fact that she had a massive toothache apparently didn't stop Yong from cam-whoring. I don't know how many pics we took on the plane, but Teo didn't want to take anymore and since she sat in the middle, some pictures came out funny. Haha.

Shopping at WangFuJin Street! BARGAIN, BARGAIN, BARGAIN! "No, you must count the percentage!" Deannie's line that became a classic. And the run from the man who threatened Shu and pulled on her scarf! Kris's VERY ex chopsticks and my 3 sets for 50yuan. And SCREAMING for our lives when stall-holders waved LIVE scorpions at us. Haha! Poor Deannie!

That night, we met in my room where we had the nightly briefing, and then it was BRIDGE TIME. I played little though, because Claire and I had to finish the script for the next day. But apparently, Kris got addicted because they taught her. BRIDGE ROCKS. Sha slept in my room that night because Shu and Dhwani got tired and knocked out early. "So, how's band?" One example question Sha would ask me that would awake me when I had one foot in dreamland.

Day Two

GREAT WALL DAY. It was surprisingly more chilly below than on the top. And climbing it, as usual for me, was HELL. Did a bit of our segment on top though. Only managed one flight, but Yong did 4 or 5 (i think), ended up being late (miscommunication, we discussed.) and got great pics! My SUPER loose pants FELL in front of Mr. Zahari!! But before it could totally fall, I grabbed it and pulled it up. My GOSH, that was SUPER EMBARRASING. Of course, Claire was there. She always is. Before that, we went to a Jade factory, and i THINK the guide was quite hot! Bought some stamp thingy for a souvenir which ended in a mild quarrell with the Cashier. Claire. Just one word. Claire. Lunch was at some copper place. After which we could freely go around and get stuff. Which we didn't because it was super ex there and not worth getting. I was complaining to Shu about Pao which Mr Z understood somehow although I SWEAR, I tried to whisper.

Ming Tomb was not really that commendable. We had to do filming there and I kept screwing up because I can't do that sort of thing. I'm a impromtu person, and making me memorise things SUCKED. I apologise to Claire anyway. But seriously, the ming tomb isn't that great. Where we are allowed to go to isn't very wow. Apparently, the 'guards' weren't there.. and neither were the statues of officials and animals. Or maybe in our haste, we missed them. Anyway, I think Mr. Z was a little flustered because we were taking SUPER long. Sorry Mr Z!

After that, we went for a acrobatic show which was SOO nice. You could really see the sweat of the people as they struggled to maintain focus. Kudos! A few performers even looked really young, like 13 or 14 at most. And I liked it when 10+ girls balanced on one bike. SO cool!

Dinner I couldn't really remember.. I think that was the night we got sucky food and equally suckish service. Post-Briefing was held in Mr Z's room and Yong and I finished our half-way played game of bridge there. We asked Mr Z to play with us but he didn't know Bridge (how i miss those days.) so we played Daidi. Which we won. Twice. His excuse? "A strategic approach to boost [our] complacency." Anyway, we went back to wash up and met in Yong n Teo's room for more bridge. This time, Claire was taught and SHE got addicted.

Day Three

Bridge players are split up into two groups, according to me and Deannie. High-level, and the rest. Dean, Sha and I are part of the High-level. The rest, are well, the rest. They can also be splited into a few groups. An example would be Yong who can play High-level but not long-term. But that's not important. So the split was pretty set. That was, until today. However, I'll get to that later on. Today was the CNA training. We headed for the office somewhere around (we never know where for certain we are bascially) and cam-whored in the ground floor of the building. The office was alright, I guess. Little cramped, but it was fine. Played Daidi on the bus with Mr Z. He lost a few times, again. Used the same excuse, again.

Went to the UCCA (Ullens Contemporary Centre for Art (?) ) to do the Piece-to-Camera. Was fine lah, but I was SURE it could've came out better.

Forbidden city and Tian An Men Square was great! But I shan't waste time describing it.

For Dinner, we ended up laughing alot, alot. So much till even Mr. Z laughed a little. I swear, we laughed at the stupidest things. From Kris and Yong's slow reactions to Teo's 'Piang Eh!' (The trip's main phrase.) The briefing was in Mr. Z's room again, and this time we invited him to play cards with us. And that was the day Mr Z learnt bridge. His strategy is weird but easy to figure out. If his cards suck, he bids really, really super high for some reason. To end the game quick, or to ring in a challenge or something like that. If his cards are good, he also bids really super high. So, in other words, he bids high. Every single time. And for the first few times, he screwed up here and there, but that's fine, cuz all of us screw sometime or another. But slowly, he learned. Like, REALLY fast.

And that's what made the boundaries of our bridge level shaky.

Day Four

It was quite a relaxing day for us. None of us filmed with an exception. Went to CCTV station for a tour. Actually seeing how stations like Mediacorp work similarly was quite an eye-opener. The guide (International PR) was really helpful as well. The China Millenium Monument was also pretty cool. Especially the Hall. Kris and I toured it together and gave names to certain parts of the wall. When a guy was trying to make fire, we called it 'Man making fire'. There was this part where a guy was carrying a ledge which had another guy standing on it with another ledge. It was named 'Man carrying brick carrying man carrying brick.' By me, of course. It was soo funny. We went trishaw-riding and then to visit a typical chinese family home which was awesome. Really, it was. Dinner was spent gossiping about TKG. Briefing that day was at the Rachels'. After talking about the day's events, we quickly dived into games of bridge. I was practically screaming when Dhwani made a wrong move, but that was because I hate it when people do that to me. Anyway, I went to sleep early and Dhwani ended up sleeping with the Rachels. Not because I kicked her out, but because they were playing till1 and Dhwani forgot her key. Oh yes, Dhwani actually said her name wrongly in front of the Camera. So for the rest of the trip, she was known as Dhwaning. (:

Day Five

The places of attraction were the Summer Palace and the Beijing Olympic Stadium, although we didn't stop at the latter because it was still under construction. But before seeing those places, we went to a local school. That was super fantastic! I tried out the diabolo, some game I have no idea how to describe. And art class was fun! We were supposed to paint fishes (Teo's ones were damn nice lah.) and the boy beside me couldn't paint for nuts! Like I couldn't! He painted a pregnant fish and a fat fish and other weird things! He was soo cute! And he likes the F1 guy. Michael something. I gave him my chocolates. At least I hope it went to him, because I gave it to someone else to give to him. The summer palace was also gorgeous, with Mr Z acting like a little kid because he somehow figured out static. That night, we were supposed to drink 56%, the beer we snuck back to the hotel. We named it such because it had 56% of alcohol. However, in the end, we chickened out because there was shopping to do the next day. Bought the cake for Lisa before going up and begged Mr Z to be allowed to go outside to see stuff. In the end, we bought KFC for the lot. I went to play late because I had to pack while Dhwani went up to Mr Z's. That night, we played till 2. Bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge! Still remember when Shu bid for 'Ace'. And she didn't even realise it which made us laugh. The late night players were Teo, Dhwani, Mr. Z and I. This time, Teo pulled a crazy wrong move and earned my glare. Also, Mr Z kept annoying me with his disturbances of the nice songs that were on channel V. So, I turned to him with a glare and said "Eh, I will sit on you okay!" I really forgot what happened after that, but Yong laughed so much and said she'd put that as her msn nick.

Day Six (the Last Day.)

Lisa, our local guide, is the best. She is the best because she is super fantastic. On the way to shopping, she told us that although we should bargain for the best prices, the prices are not very ex for us because we're rich. When there was no response, she smiled and said "I just make joke." To which we burst out laughing. The day before, we joked that the other guide was her husband, and that day, we asked if the cameraman from CNA was her friend. When she heard that she looked bewildered. "What? Yesterday, husband, today, friend." Over lunch we then asked if the bus driver was her brother, to which she replied candidly. "Next time I tell Agency to get all lady staff for girls' school. So you will not say everyone is my relative." Gosh, she is soo cute!

SHOPPING AND SHOPPING AND BARGAINING AND BARGAINING. And the Act Cute faces that I almost fell for. That was the life. Bought some many things, and I feel so satisfied!

At the Airport, we went to repack our stuff into the check-in luggage. Mr Z took a while, so Shu called out impatiently, "Mr. Z! Hurry!" To which she burst out laughing. When asked why, she grinned "Don't you get it? Z. hurry. Z hurry!" Well, say it fast and you might get it as well. So we stared at her for a bit before laughing ourselves. Esther sat with me on the plane. And she was being so BLUR.

Esther: What's in the UK?

Me: Britain, North Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

Esther: What do marine creatures have to do with the UK?

(Esther writes down 'New Zealand' in places she would like to visit)

Me: (looking over.) What's in New Zealand?

Esther: (looking at me with a 'duh' face.) Cows?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Here are the things I already miss.

- Rachel's 'Havoc' and the hand thing.

- Shu's 'Hamburger Slap!'

- Claire's constant laughing AT me. Like Arra, really. And somehow, she's ALWAYS there when I do something stupid.

- Kris's cute faces she does.

- Teo's 'piang eh' and Deannie's recording of it.

- Deannie's qian bian face.

-Sha's proclaimation of the great C.R.

-Dhwani's good-naturedness of her 'Dhwaning' Alter-ego

- Mr Z's laugh and ability to remind me of my BROTHER or all people.

-ZOOOOOOOOOOM (:

I LOVE THEM ALL! AND BEIJING! ((:

I'm leaving on a jet plane

It's a day away to China!

Tomorrow, at this time, I'll be butt-shipping to China. Via plane lah.

However, from then till now, I have a play to get to, stuff to do at Parkway, The bus time... And since I packed all my jeans into my bag, I have nothing to wear...

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WEAR A GODDAMN SKIRT.

Maybe just some pants or something. If I can dig through my closet.

It's times like this, one is thankful for jeans.

Only a few more hours..

Oh the anticipation..

And the Bridge! (:

Run to me whenever you're lonely

Beijing in 3 days! On the list before then? A play... And band.

Have to wear my white specs because technically, they're my 'main' pair... And I had to pair the spare (my brown thin frames) into my hand carry.

Finished packing all my necessenties (and some UNnecessenties) into the trolley bag.

Building Anticipation for the trip... I STILL hate planes and will forever hate them. Just can't shake off the air-sick feeling.. Especially during take-off and landing.. But usually, the rest of the trip is tolerable.

If anyone wants anything, I'll be getting gifts for people!

And I shall try to sleep on the plane.. If the temptation of bridge doesn't get to me first..

I'm SO excited for the trip, but the project just keeps knocking and knocking... sheesh..

And I'm outta here. (:

How's that for summarised?

Nobody gets too much heaven no more

Couldn't go online yesterday.. the connection failed me again and again. Settled for starting my Sims craze again... well, not really start.. it's hard to call it a craze when you play it according to mood swings. Is it? I really can't tell you..

Went for Ping's BBQ on Saturday which was utterly HORRID. I'm kidding. It was FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN. There... 5 funs for a horrid. Haha. Oh gosh, I have no idea what I am going on about..

Met Mel and Zing at Serangoon MRT. At this point, I wanna apologise to Mel because I really think telling EVERYONE about stuff that you say isn't very nice. I do it because it is really very cute! Nothing against you darling.. haha..

Hui Rou, Ting, Laura, Yan Yao and Janice were there as well.. Cramping in the playground was great, splashing in the pool (Haha, Mel..) and the video-taking which would not interest you-tubers at all.. heh. Kept eating and eating. Firstly, I thought I wouldn't eat so much, which I normally don't.. But we ended up eating when we laughed too much and felt all the food digest like a speeding bullet. And eating. And eating. The Fishball craze.... followed by Chicken.. and lastly, Sausages.

I don't have any pictures, although, if you ask nicely, Janice might give you some.

Then caught 135 with Yan Yao and Mel. Poor Mel dropped her wallet! I was practically freaked out, but Mel seemed extremely calm. If it was to stop herself from freaking out too, or because this wasn't the first time, I don't know. Anyway, decided to take 24 back home anyway. (loaned her 55c) Stopped 2 stops away from the MRT because silly me thought taking a cab from there would be more worth it.. again, the forces were against me. Because it was a REALLY ulu place, and my black outfit blended so well with the surroundings. So I just took any bus back to the MRT and walked home. I feel so stupid sometimes doing these kind of things... But I did save at least 2 to 3 dollars.. So that's something.

Today was my first day at Stan Chart working as the packing crew. For $20, we stuffed things in a bag, ate, shopped, ate, slacked in the hall, ate, played number games, ate, swept the floor and ate. For 20 dollars. Not alot of money.. But I think it was worth it. Bought my Chocolate cream Frap from Starbucks and my present for Mother. I think it's lovely. Still have a bit of the day's money left after buying soft dough cookies. Gonna use it for tomorrow. Sharlyn, Elena, Delicia and Yong Xian were there. Thank goodness for them, or I would've been SO majorly alone. I want the T-shirt!

Going to Beijing in 6 days... REALLY, REALLY dread the project.... It's SUCH a mood-killer... Rrrr..

And, I beseech you, the BIG GUY up there, stop giving me recurring dreams that are BETTER off classified as NIGHTMARES.

I make believe you care

So I play, I'll wait
'Cause you know that love takes time
We came so far
Just the beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone - Alone, the Bee Gees

Today was full of exercising! And it was so funn!! IF you cut out a bit here, a bit there.. Cycled and walked SOO much, my blisters had blisters. ECP is damn fun, I wish we could do it again. ((:

I think I had a dream about him again. I forgot what it was all about though. Even fact, I didn't remember when I woke up. Just the same nagging feeling I get when he pops up. And then I vaguely recalled seeing him somewhere... problem was, haven't seen him in a while. So i figured must've been a dream.

Anyway, truth is, I kinda forgotten all about him till today. That never lasts though. Enjoy it while it lasts, I always say.

I want a bike for christmas. If I still believed in Santa Claus, I would make him a list (with it, 20 bucks just so he'd see things my way.. hey. I think even St.Nick had flaws about him.) with BIKE written on top. In fact, my list would look a little like this:

(people like doing this on their blog for some apparent reason... like, if the people who read it would give it to them[said people who fall between ages of 10-20], or if their parents 'somehow managed' to have a look. Either way, I'm thinking, why the hell not? If other people find it helpful and to their advantage, I can try as well! Might as well get something out of it. )

1) A bike. (I have established my reasons.)

2) A Lenovo N100 with Intel Core Duo processor, at least a tetrabyte of memory, 2.5GHz processing speed, Surround sound system (from THX, no less.) and most importantly, sleek silver plastic covering that makes it durable and shock resistant. The RAM must be big too, of course, at least 2 gigs worth. (I KNOW my electronics.)

3) Modem speeds so fast, I blink slower than my laptop reacts.

4) An Ipod Video or a Creative Zen. (How commonplace. ): )

5) A good holiday job. (That interests me.)

6) The ability to lose the pounds. (Well, the strong, sheer willpower, rather.)

7) Basically to fufil my dream of owning an electronics store. With cameras, MP3s, PDAs, Laptops and LCD Plasmas for me to nick off.

8) And books. Short stories, romance (with substance), adventure, thrillers. You name it, I'll read it. Well, most of it. Some I might throw at you for sheer fun.

There! A cleverly, devised list. For the world to enjoy. Well, that really WAS exciting! Now I know why people did it.

I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean

It's official. I hate her. She and her stupid bitching ways. I can't say much, word gets 'round pretty fast these days. Anyway, some people may know whom I'm speaking of. Or not. Either way, she really got on my nerves. Just got on, sat on them and remained there till the end of time. It's just like her really, only I couldn't stand it anymore. Normally, it's tolerable, I don't condone her actions, which would be sadistic, but this time, just felt like stabbing her and smiling. It's not that I would get berated, people might stand and clap if that happened. Like a movie where at the end, the male and female leads finally get together. Happy ending, wouldn't it be?

Anyway, looks like the musical of my life is slowly reaching a point where the commonly heard lyrics will be 'Oh, what a shame.' and 'Dear, dear, how could this happen?'. Especially with the recent announcement about O.F.M. and oh, have I forgotten the ever-so-popular lyrics 'Girl, your life is ohhh-verrr!' Clap twice and pronounce me doomed. It's teenage time in the house of the Girl. Bullshit.

I don't feel like going tomorrow either. It kinda sucks that I have to pretend to be happy for some people when I don't like them very much. Of course, the feeling is mutual there, but we're too polite to point it out. Well, I am, anyway. Other parties make no fun in guessing what they feel about me since they wear those particular emotions on their sleeve. Might as well laser the words 'Fuck off' on my forehead. Maybe people'll actually heed some advice.

On the bright side, some people I miss and want to spend the day with are gonna be there, but I just have the feeling that with those other people, I might not have that much fun. But since you asked nicely, I'll put on a fake smile and breeze my way through the day, sieving all those unwanted comments. For you guys.

Reality aside, I'd finished 2 books since Chasing Charlie Duskin. The Man from Perfect (the usual romance book, with humour and a good plot, and without actual descriptions of things I don't wanna read. If you know what I mean.) And the latest book, 'Lucy Blue, Where are you?' No, not a children's poem book. A nice read actually, relaxing and not so mind-blowing. About a girl and a 13 hour drive with a stranger she knew nothing about. Well, something like that. I'm still deciding on the next book, should I continue on 'Teen Ink', a book I read in between mind-boggling pages of 'Where the truth lies'? It's 'Chicken Soup for the Teenage soul'. Exactly like it actually, but apparently with a difference I've yet to find. It's just one of those books you read abit, then put down because one can only deal with so much 'inspiration' without hurling. Well, technically, the stories in it may not be inspirational... There's your difference! Or another teen issue book i picked up? Or just some other book I thought I would find interesting but have no mood to read in the near future... The possibilites are endless...

And as I comtemplate all my recent happenings, I just can't wait for Beijing and Church Camp. The silver linings in my huge dark cotton-looking bundle of precipitation.

And this is how the story ends for today.

She want that lovey dovey (lovey dovey)
that kiss kiss (kiss kiss)
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me
They hatin on me (hatin on me)
they wanna diss diss (kiss kiss)
because she mine, and so fine
thick as can be - Kiss Kiss, Chris Brown feat. T-pain

I've got this icebox where my heart used to be

I just heard this quote off a piece of mail. It takes one minute to be impressed, one hour to be friends, one year to love, and a lifetime to forget. Operation F.M. down the goddamn drain. My life could be over emotionally as I know it. What now, huh? Denial? Like the past 3 years? Sure, that works.. for how long? Being a teenager sucks shit. Want a repeat of that?

Anyway, I woke up to a bad start this morning. My brother was in the toilet, which meant I had to use my mum's bathroom. (not a particular favourite of mine.) While changing, I stubbed my toe against the bed. And after I'd finished, it started to rain. Dragged my laptop into my bag and made my way to the bus stop with a seemingly too-small umbrella. (or maybe the umbrella's not the problem, huh?) The bus was going to take long, according to the schedule, so I decided to walk. Against my instinct. That's when the downpour hit me like Mike Tyson doing rounds. I was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY drenched and I was so concerned for my laptop. It had seen better days, this not being one of them. Met a catechism friend at the mrt(managed to do that while looking like I'd just came out of a fight with a moody lobster.) whose name I'd forgotten (I'm SOO SORRY.) And so I gave him a big smile (to the best of my abilities at the point of time.) while he acknowledged me with a sort-of 'act cool' nod. I'm not being mean, but it looked that way, and if it wasn't meant to be like that, again, I apologised. Anyway, I think his name was Kenneth. Like my brother's. That's a bad name to have. In my opinion. Again, I'm so sorry I forgot his name! I really feel quite bad about it. (thinking of how that would make ME feel.)

Thought the whole workshop would be a bore. It kinda was. (No offence to Joshua who tried to make it more interesting.) But Clarissa, Rachel and gang were a joy to have around. The food show was GREAT. I really wanna go to Hongkong! And I just noticed how all hongkeys (hehe.) sound the same! I SWEAR. The Lady Chef sounded like Auntie Elsa (ex-neighbour) and Lydia Sum! I hope my travelogue with Clarissa turns out great. We have this wonderful idea that I think rocks. haha.

And poor rachel got busted with 'lao' hero! Her face was extremely red! I love those guys, think I'll have TREMEDOUS fun in Beijing.

Apparently, the school is hooking up with wireless (something I didn't think would happen till I asked Mr. Collin for fun this afternoon.) So, it SHOULD be free. Unless otherwise.

You didn't hear it from me. (:

Finished another book today. Chasing Charlie Duskin. One of the usual teen reads, except this one made me water many, many times. It's like I always cry when I'm reading, but when it comes to movies, the waterworks have shut down. And here I thought I was more of a visual person.

Tomorrow is SNORE SNORE SNORE day. I don't actually snore. (My cousin doesn't believe me. 'Every plus-sized person snores!' Well, whaddyya want me to do? Learn?)

(This was added 15 mins later.)

FUCK MY BROTHER. STUPID, INSOLENT, IMMATURE PIECE-OF-SHIT THAT HAS EVER BEEN MY DISPLEASURE TO BE BORN BY THE SAME WOMAN. DIPSHIT.

It's like dreams coming true. In a dream.

I haven't been online in a while. When I mean a while, it means my laptop hasn't been touched by me since Friday night. Yeah sure, one day of avoiding the computer, big whoop!(as dear elaina might say.) But somehow, it feels like so long ago.

Maybe reading 'where the truth lies' just prolonged the seconds... the book was sometimes interesting to the point where i couldn't bear to put it down without groaning out my displeasure, and yet, sometimes a little monotonous that i sped read through that particular point. The plot itself already promised scandals galore to readers, and i sure wasn't disappointed. But it wasn't as if every corner and word in the book focused on these scandals alone. There were a few fleeting moments, scattered and far-in-between, that were really down-to-earth, and even touching per say. Holmes really is a good writer.

Saturday's band was not bad and quite 'fun' as quoted by Lian Ping. Well, the only reason why it was fun for her was because of the lack of scoldings she had gotten. Well, I'm happy for her. Whether it should be an occasion for my happiness on her account is entirely a different topic. Lunch was spent waiting tiredly as we 'tah pao-ed' food from the coffee shop and eating merrily at the void deck. 'Lunch is my favourite part of band,' said Ping happily, still munching on her noodles. When I'd commented that it wasn't technically band, she replied that along as the band was involved, it was counted.

At night, I went for mass at OLPS which was followed by quick dining at the nearest food outlet located at Bedok. In a detailed account, we ate chicken rice at the hawker centre. I almost died because I happened to leave my book unread at a particularly 'juicy' moment and was 'forced' to bear an hour of walking around bedok doing 'shopping'. In the end, I paid for the taxi ride home because I didn't want to waste any time I had to read my book by 'walking'.

I absolutely can't wait for the trip, whether or not the project we have to do (which cost more than $2000 apparently) has put a damper on my spirit.

And I really can't wait for 'havoc' to begin! (: