It's like catching lightning
I'm quite sad. Just yesterday, blogger was working REALLY well. Awesome, in fact. I was like, 'Wheee!' And now.. It's all wonky again. :(
Ah well. Okay, here I go on about the affairs of the heart, once again... I was trying to study? And I kept thinking about him. It was half I-want-to, and half I-can't-help-but.
Okay, I really think I may go crazy. The funny thing is, I really like those feelings! It feels like something else is going on in my life besides the sad, sad routine I go through every week now. Seriously. Not only does my timetable suck, I NEED to go through the same thing every SINGLE week. No change. No alternate timetables. NOTHING.
So anything that seems to give me respite, I will gladly take it.
I feel so dead. I feel like... I actually have a chance of not doing well for promos. I'm too scared. I'm really scared. I actually really want to try H3 math, but if I can't even prove that I can juggle 4 H2 subjects, how the hell am I supposed to prove that I can deal with an EXTRA subject?
Okay. It's going to be fine, right? I just need to pray. A lot.
This is also the point where I say I think I take on wayy too much.
Before the YEAR is over, I need to worry about a lot of things.
- TOOP to Yunnan (Previously Cambodia)
- Camp Seven: Survivor!
- A (maybe) performance for Feast Day by the Acapella team.
- My Promos (oh right...)
- Project Work :(
It's a lot. A LOT. I should stop saying yes to everything. I think God didn't want me to die, and so he made sure I couldn't find the Conversational Malay class when I was supposed to take the class. If I DID find the class, I would have been fully packed from monday to friday. (This was before PDPs were suspended.)
I don't think it's only church? (Though everyone seems to think I'm saying yes to too much stuff in church too) I think it's just this thing, I NEED to have something to do. I don't know why, but I just can't be one of those people who get to go home straight after school everyday to study. I mean, I would love to do that, but I can't bring myself to. It just makes it seeem like I have no life. Like my world is revolved around my studies. Which is SUPPOSED to be what it is, I guess.. But maybe I just don't want to do that. I WANT to fill myself with stuff.
Which, again, is NOT good. Because I get very confused, and tired, and I already have too much in my mind for me to take on anymore. I may actually burn out soon.
I mean, it seemed so easy in Secondary School.. But i can't continuue doing that right? JC's a completely different ball game. And I don't want to risk not doing well for my A'levels because of all the excess things I do on the side. It's too 'wasted'.
Anyway, I should just start breathing, and learn to maybe say 'no' to some things.
You know what? I actually miss the Daffodils. I miss gossiping during lecture week. I want to lunch with them next Wednesday and catch up on all the crazy things.
And I miss conversations with Dione. Cuz' she always managed to make me feel better. Even on the stupidest things. (OR point out how stupid those things were.)
