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Thursday, April 04, 2013

So open up your mind and see like me

Well, the retreat was amazing. But I suppose I shan't really bore you with the details.

I think one of the only reasons why I'm blogging tonight is due to pure procrastination. Somehow, my mind is refusing to function after 11pm. So here I am.

For the most part, I'm just drowned in readings and stuff. And getting a bit worried for the exams. And my deadlines.

So, just typical student-y stuff really.

I think my mind has been cleared of most of its fetters. It honestly seems to me that the only fetters left are the ones I can't bear to clean away. Perhaps due to the tiniest shroud of hope? Or desperation?

Perhaps. Either one.

In any case, I think I'm trying to pray more. Let him guide me through. He's been doing a pretty good job so far, I've not really had much problems at this moment. Just one or two tiny annoyances, nothing major. So perhaps I'm waiting for the next catastrophe to happen?

Whatever it is... I'm sure I'm more than strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.

To be fair though, I'm so glad that I've found hope in prayer again. For a while there, prayer was becoming nothing more than meaningless words. Sentences that floated by on a sheet of paper. I was basically just reading off words for the sake of reading them off and getting to the next paragraph.

Now I realise how important quiet time is. And how much trust I need in him. How much I need to live my life, not for myself, but for others.

To be honest, that part still confuses me. I suppose for the most part because I'm naturally self-centred. I will try though. Because I have come across so many people who have touched me with their actions, words, and kindness. And I would want to strive to do the same.

Okay, what was supposed to be a short little update in the ever increasing blog in which I choke and vomit and slur out all my ramblings has now become a full-on rattling.

This Saturday I'm off to Blackpool. It should be fun. And after that, I may need to clear out more fetters. Who knows? I don't. That's why I pray.

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