I say that with a hint of mild emotional blockage, really.
This week, I had battles with two friends, both of which I don't even know if I even consider friends anymore, for that matter. I also had a horrible episode with a sudden fever.
Today, I broke down because a date got cancelled, my body suddenly broke out into rashes due to an unknown allergy, one of which up till now I have no knowledge of, and my washing has mostly turned pink due to an ill-placed purple pair of jeans.
All in all, I'd say it wasn't the best of weeks. But I suppose, for the most part, it could have gone even worse.
Sometimes I need to sit down and remember how lucky I am, still. Sure, shit comes and goes. It rains heavily on you one moment, and then the sun comes up, and all is well. In the end, I have my health, my family, my friends, and I'm living life up (I'd take that phrase with a pinch of salt) in Manchester.
I'd like to think the real reason why I get so emotional is because there doesn't seem to be an outlet for me for that. I'm sorry, but I'm a girl. I get emotional sometimes. But lately, perhaps there hasn't been much to get emotional over. So perhaps when an actual reason comes, no matter how small, my heart grabs hold of it and milks it for all its worth.
Okay, that was probably the funniest load of bullshit ever, really.
In reality, there's really no reason why I should have been so upset.
My very wise, amazing friends have always given me good advice, some of which I honestly should start following.
I should start focusing on myself. And even if I'm still dating around, I shouldn't put all my effort into it until I'm sure it's something worth putting effort in. And sometimes, it's okay to be a little selfish, as long as there is a greater good to be served.
Hmmm.
In any case, I've been listening to a lot of Oasis lately. They calm the nerves. :)
"Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out"
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