I'm sure as you grow up, the number of things you regret increase. Perhaps even exponentially, as you start making millions of decisions, some harder than the rest.
I really do wonder about the extent of regret. You realise the 'what if' situations stay in your mind longer than the 'I shouldn't have done that' ones.
And that's why people seem to use the whole 'YOLO' (You Only Live Once) thing now. Because you tend to regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do.
In fact, I'm very sure I've touched on this subject more than once, especially in the first half of this year.
What do I regret? Many things. One of the earliest things I regret is not telling my auntie that I loved her before she passed away. I'm sure she went knowing that I did, but the fact that I didn't actually vocalise my feelings will always stay with me, perhaps until I go into *my* grave. That was when I was 11. Since then, I've definitely had more regrets.
People always tell you to 'live life with no regrets!' But it's hard, isn't it. How do you know whether you would regret doing (or not doing) something? Perhaps with my earliest point made, you should just *do* everything. But as humans, a fundamental nature we are all born with is the instinct of self-preservation. You don't jump across from one roof to the next because you 'might regret never having tried it'. You were born with the common sense that you might actually DIE doing that.
Self-preservation doesn't necessarily stop at preventing you from killing yourself either. It comes in handy when dealing with utter humiliation. Or heartache.
Last night, I watched the last bit of an episode of Mobbed. I've not watched much of the show before but what I understand from it, it's a platform for someone to send a very special message to someone else. One of their more popular episodes seems to be of this man proposing to his girlfriend. It's the sort of feel-good, emotionally-refreshing shows that make you go 'awwwww'.
Anyway, in this particular episode, this teacher literally 'mobbed' her fellow teacher-best friend to confess to him that she 'might be falling in love with him'. And honestly, I could tell from the moment he saw her come out that it wasn't going to end well. Which it didn't.
I literally grabbed onto the couch cushion with anxiety as he turned her down. He tried to do it as sweetly and subtly as possible, but I mean, how awesome can a rejection be. 'Oh well, I feel much better than when I set out to do this!'
It got me thinking of my little confession I did 3 years ago. (Yes, I realise it has been that long already.) The rejection and heartache that followed. It was bad, yes. But now, I think back, and it's one of the things I surprisingly don't regret.
In saying that, I didn't do it on national TV. I honestly have to give her a lot of respect and kudos. It is definitely not fun to get rejected on TV AND in front of the entire mob you 'hired'. And I do have to commend the guy for not just saying 'yes' on national TV either, just so people won't boo him.
Anyway, returning back to the subject of regret at hand.
I wonder if the start of the new school year will bring with it many regrets. Somehow, I know my life in the UK almost always guarantees some sort of excitement. But would it be the sort I'd like? Or the sort that'll make me wonder if I made the right decision spending so much money in travelling to another country to get a good degree?
Oh well. I suppose you only live once. ;)
This is a girl. This is her blog. That's pretty much the gist of where you are now on the internet.
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