Take a chance and don’t ever look back.

I was happy with the results I got today.

No, not them A’level nonsense.

Anyway, I now have an ultrascan of my uterus. =/

Lord, PLEASE give me the strength to take it slow. VERY slowly.

It’s just some little thing.

So, the most craziest thing happened to me today. An Englishman licked my ice-cream. It was the CRAZIEST thing ever. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Tia, Sharon and I were at the ATM and we (Tia and myself) mentioned that we felt like having long island iced teas. Tia then said she craved a ‘sex on the beach’ cocktail. I then proceeded to say (very loudly, as I usually am.) that I liked sex on the beach.

The next thing I knew, this guy (blonde hair/blue eyes) with his bicycle was behind us asking what flavour the ice-cream I had in my hand was. (I bought the cone from the Turkish ice-cream place.) I said ‘mango’ and told him that he could get his own at the Turkish ice-cream place. He then said he really liked mango and asked if I could give him a lick of my ice-cream. So… I did. Cuz’ what the HELL do you answer to that? And he LICKED IT. Completely seductively. It was so crazy!

And he asked me if I liked mango. I told him I was partial to the flavour. o.0

Tell me something, I was just hit on by a guy from England, right? Hahahaha!

Anyway, I have lived today, people. How many people (in Singapore) can say they let an Englishman lick their ice-cream?? :DD

These words are all I have so I’ll write them.

Today, I learned that there are more methods of showing your middle finger. It’s actually really rewarding teaching the kids, except when the boys think it’s funny to show ‘Jie Jie’ how their middle finger looks solo.

And apparently, they’re getting really naughty too. One eleven-year-old told me his discipline master caught his classmate and told him to cut his hair. The boy then proceeded to retort back, ‘You jealous, ah’ because apparently, the poor DM was balding in the front.

Anyway, they’re still a joy to teach. :)

Here, I get mopey and all boring.

I guess I’m just really afraid of what an LDR entails. Tia said it’s something adventurous. In simple English, it’s probably crazy. Firstly, without him physically present here, I kinda get annoyed and even though he’s really sweet with his words, it’s not the same. Saying ‘hug’ and actually giving one is a thousand times worth of difference.

Secondly, the trust you place in the person is extremely huge. Because we’re thousands of miles apart, separated by many oceans, I can only assume whatever he tells me is the truth. And I can’t do anything but believe him. Same for him. It’s not like we can take a cab down if we think the other is being unfaithful. Or a liar.

Basically, those are the ‘only’ two issues. Of course, those are probably the two largest issues one can have in a relationship. Besides the issue of money, of course.

Yet, I really really like him. And I don’t think I wanna stop talking to him. But is all this really worth it? Maybe I should just wait a few months before getting a boyfriend.

Why is it I always have the stupidest problems with the guys I like. WHY DAMN IT. =/

What are you waiting for?

I think it’s getting a bit hard because I’m asleep when he’s awake and he’s asleep when I’m awake and we only get to talk to each other for a few hours a day.

Anyway, it was fun to go drinking with Tia yesterday. Watching the live band entertain the crowd was so relaxing, coupled with a long island iced tea and easy conversation with my wifey.

It was nice finally being able to stay out past midnight again. I haven’t done that in a while. Should really do it more often.

I think with her problems and my own, it was great having that someone to talk to. And even though we knew what laid ahead for us was nothing easy, we knew that we would support each other to the very end.

Haha! And Tia, if on the slim chance you read this, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my near-concussion two years ago. And about my family. :P You know I think you’re the most awesomest wife ever!

Let’s pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen

I had the most horrible dream last night. Which was (I guess) appropriate since I couldn’t stop freaking about it last night.

I dreamt that I got my results back. Firstly, the result slips came on those old exercise book papers. And it was handwritten.

I got A’s for math and chem. But then I got a ‘V’ for GP. I don’t even know what a ‘V’ is! But in the dream, apparently I knew it was a horrible grade. (Well duh… if A is the highest, a V can’t possibly be good..)

Anyway, I was so upset with that grade because I knew I definitely didn’t deserve a V. Apparently, this guy from Cambridge then helped me ‘call in’ and found out that I spelt a lot of things wrong. Like DENA instead of DNA and paln instead of plan. =/

And then I found out I got a ‘T’ for one of the other subjects. That would mean I cheated on the exam. Which totally didn’t happen and completely took me by surprise!

I remember being completely shocked and upset and just crying about my horrible results.

Anyway, I really just hope it doesn’t happen next week. o.0

I was smiling so much yesterday when Alex told me he wanted to support me through college. I mean, it came as quite a shock. And it’s really not an option to migrate over to the US. But the gesture was still so sweet.

I think this may go well. :)

And they told me I don’t need to worry

I think I’m starting to freak out about universities and results and scores and finances. And I just read this HORRID review on Manchester by this law school kid. Although, in all fairness, he seems pretty mad about everything in the world. So, you know. It’s probably just him.

Still, It’s horribly scary to know that I only have ONE week before the horrors that pained and overwhelmed me last year come RUSHING back to me on one slip of paper.

Oh dear God, I have such a horrible horrible feeling. Suddenly, I think I didn’t do well on anything and everything I wrote in Econs was crap. And Physics was definitely a killer and I’d probably get a C or D. OH DEAR GOD. A ‘C’.

And I think I completely screwed the GP essay, so THAT’S down the drain. And OMG CHEMISTRY. I probably flunked that too. I only have math to my name now. I think I should just pursue math. That’s it. I love math so much, right? So, that’s always a good choice.

I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore! Words just pour out of my mouth in rapid fashion, killing EVERYTHING in its path!

I think I need to calm down and not die.

Hopefully things don’t go as badly next week. :(

Scattered all around the floor.

So, I think I made my decision?

Then again, maybe it’s the whole idea of love nonsense thing again.

OH DEAR GOD I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

The world’s so wild, but you built your own paradise.

Wow. I am like Aunt Abby this week. Solving people’s problems and cheering them up.

It’s ironic cuz’ I’ve always pictured myself as a very emotionally inept person. I mean, I’m great with knowing when to show emotion and when not to, but dealing with people’s feelings has never been my strong suit. In fact, it was proven in my emergenetics profile I did when i was 16. I am 3% social. I think of people’s feelings the very last when it comes to dealing with problems.

Anyway, I’m glad I have driving tomorrow. I really need the practice. I think I forgot a lot of things already. =/

And…… I have to be very very careful.

Yup. That’s it!

I could really use a wish right now

So. I mentioned about the whole monkey zodiac thing.

And a few days ago, I posted about the idea of love.

And WOW does God work fast.

Well, too fast, too soon. No break.

Two guys from two different countries.

And I think I know my choice. But then again, what do I know?

So now, I’m just all woozy.

And kinda excited about the beginning of a relationship? Although it IS long distance.. urgh.

Take on me

Elaina read the zodiac monkey thing at parkway and told me this year was gonna be a good year. But that we would break a lot of hearts.

Very interesting… Indeed.

The dust has only just begun to fall,

Dear You,

When you cried over the phone, I really wished I was there to hug you. I felt so helpless when you were wailing and all I could do was verbally comfort you from what seemed like the other side of the world.

I was never very good with comforting words, so I really hope you felt a lot better when we hung up.

I know it hurts sometimes. And sometimes, it feels like nobody in the world loves you anymore. And you feel like there’s no one on your side anymore. But you have to understand, you are so loved. No matter what you think, or how others treat you, you have to know how lucky you are.

I know it may not seem like a blessing now, but give it some time. You’ll realise that you are so lucky to have a family like yours. No matter how cruel they seem to be. You’ll also understand how much they love you some day. It’s only when you truly love someone and feel completely comfortable with that person that your worst is brought out. Because you know they’ll still love you at the end of the day no matter how crazy everyone acts.

Whenever you feel upset, try writing a letter telling the people how much hurt you feel. And how much you want to scream and punch things. Then, when you feel better, either make a plane and fly it into the sky (so Jesus can receive your cry for help) or crush it and tear it and let all your anger out.

OR, try screaming really hard into your pillow. It helps. Seriously, it does. More than you think, actually.

Whatever you do, just remember that at the end of the day, you should be the better person (wonder who told me that when I was having problems with a certain guy…) and say sorry first.

I know it’s hard, but someone’s gotta do it, right?

But take it slow. Don’t need to start getting angry again, yeah?

Anyway, know that I love you and that I’ll be here whenever you wanna just talk or when you wanna get something off your chest. :DD

From your extremely good friend who loves you loads,

Stephy.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone

I think I’m in love with the idea of being in love. And who can blame me? The propaganda that the TV and movies feed you sure doesn’t help.

Sometimes it’s hard to resist temptation, you know? The first guy that’s remotely nice to you and you immediately think he’s probably THE ONE.

I sure sound like a sap right about now.

But that’s the truth of the matter.

I guess when it comes to love, it’s a risk-it-all or die trying sort of business.

I guess it’s especially hard when you realise that none of the guys around you fit your description of the perfect guy. Or at the very least, a good guy that likes you for who you are.

And when you resort to trying to go online in search of guys, they all either turn out crappy or… crappily horny.

Maybe it’s the whole ‘Valentine’s Day’ spirit still lodged down there somewhere. I don’t know.

All I know is, some people are really lucky they found someone special, and yet, they don’t treat it as well as they should.

Horrible, horrible feeling.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

Yeah. I should stop playing pool. For my own sanity.

Seriously.

Don’t tell me not to fly, I’ve simply got to.

So, I think I’m pretty racist.

Yeah. That’s not very good right.

Okay. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

So, I’m unemployed. And I bum around at home when I’m not tutoring or terrorising the streets of Singapore.

I play pool when I’m bored. It’s actually pretty fun, relaxing, plus I get to chat with people I don’t know, and sometimes I get to make stuff up about myself so that’s always great.

And well, a lot of Indians like to play pool too, apparently.

Which is great and all, but they like to talk to me. Which can get annoying.

And I mean, I just clam up when they tell me they’re Indian. So, you know, I’m officially racist.

But you know what? Everyone’s a little bit racist. Some people can’t stand Jews, some can’t stand the Irish.

So I’m not exactly ‘hot’ for Indians. Well, it’s a preference.

Doesn’t make me a bad person.

Does it?

HAHA. Oh, the things you blog about when you’re bored.

Oh right. And a 55-year-old man wanted to KISS ME!!!! YUCKSSS

On the day that you were born, the angels got together.

I’m getting better at driving. I can turn and move on my own without much help. Only a bit of help here and there when I start freaking out and forget to hit the clutch.

And I can park (albeit, only on the curbs.)

I really can’t wait to drive on my own. It’s so cool! =D

Currently, I’m being all nostalgic. I downloaded the Carpenters. Such classics.

I figured that while I do enjoy mainstream music, I really do prefer the classics. Plus, there’re so many new songs nowadays, it’s so hard to keep up. And, oldies rock. You gotta admit it.

So, I’m going to get my hair done for fun. Cuz’ I am that bored. And since I haven’t really been spending money on myself (besides the cash used for driving and you-know-what) I decided that I needed this little treat.

Tomorrow, I wanna go shopping and buy stuff.

I do enjoy being unemployed. It has its perks. =))

Yesterday once more

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs

When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile
Those were such happy times

And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

Go now, don’t look back.

I would just like to say, for the record, I move on fast.

Which means I was only in love with the idea.

So, that’s awesome, right?

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

In another life, I would make you stay.

So I guess it’s for the best.


Was fun while it lasted anyway.

And I shall move on from this confusing period and get on with my life!

Yesterday, Tia and I watched Black Swan. I first heard about it from LP who freaked out after she watched the trailer and realised it wasn’t a romance movie. So, here I’m thinking, ‘Oh dear God, why did I agree to this!?!’

So anyway, Tia and I bought the mandatory movie snacks (read: popcorn and soda) and settled down in our seats.

The movie was…… I don’t even know how to describe it. I mean, on one hand, really, bravo, Natalie Portman. Bravo. On the other… WHAT THE EFFING HELL WAS THAT??!!!

Tia and I settled on a movie description, finally. Dark, scary, psycho, and raunchy.

When it wasn’t dark and scary, it was raunchy and SUPER uncomfortable. (Well, it WAS M18 for a reason..)

There were no happy scenes, or mildly pleasing scenes, (and when I say ‘pleasing’, I don’t mean SEXUALLY!!!) and the whole thing was just weird and crazy.

I think the only reason why it got such great reviews was because critics were like, ‘OMG, IT’S SO DARK AND RAUNCHY, ITS GOOD!!!!’

But no. It was just dark. and raunchy.

Okay, so it’s not my kind of movie.. Whose kind of movie IS that, btw?! I would like to know so I can take a mental note of the kind of friends I hang out with.

Okay. MY movie review is done.

It was great hanging out with Tia. Telling all our little secrets and catching up, as always. It’s really fun lah.

And I had my first private tuition yesterday! I am an awesome teacher.

So, I am learning to drive and I hope to pass really soon. Cuz’ you know, it’s awesome and all.

Here we go, unemployment! Feels great, btw.

A teenage love in a parking lot

It wasn’t really my fault, right?

He started it.

So why do I feel like I’m the one who did wrong?

Just cuz’ I said those hurtful words?

But he started it.

=/

I sound like a 7-year-old.

This is so insane, right?

This is so crazy. And stupid. And effed-up.

Oh right. And I apparently attract a lot of Indians. Not that I’m being racist…. but I’m not even a bloody lawyer yet!!!

And I attract men who do a lot of hands-on work.

So that’s great too.

Everyone else is a dick.

And I’m going crazy. I really am going crazy. And no one can help me.

Does this mean I like him? Seriously? I barely know the guy! Maybe I just like the idea of him. Maybe I should just stop moping about.

So why do I feel like going to Switzerland to apologise?

Someone, please, restrain me!

Or stab me. Whichever is easiest.

And in another life, I would be your girl.

Well, ain’t that some shit?

 

Why is it every time I like someone, I end up feeling like I want to punch their faces in until it can no longer be recognised?

Why is it I always end up liking guys that make me feel soo frustrated, I want to yell at the top of my lungs until my voice turns hoarse and I can no longer make use of my vocal cords?

Why is it I REALLY know how to fucking pick ‘em?

So, here I thought, problem solved.

Of course, things are never simple. It’s an unspoken agreement made on my behalf. ‘Things cannot ever be that fucking simple.’

So yup. Story of my life. I’ll probably look back on this in a few months and laugh.

Maybe a few years.

The Sun will come out tomorrow

So I was sitting at the bar, and this guy comes up to me and says ‘My life stinks.’

Okay. This is great. Well, Joan was right about one thing. The guys I like will not be getting any younger.

So, here I am. With this great guy whose smart, funny, sweet and SWISS. And we like each other. And so what’s the problem?

Well, firstly.. I have never seen his face. And he has never seen mine. So that’s like one of those stupid masquerade masks things where you take off the wretched thing at midnight and OMG!

I should never have done it. I should never have been honest with him. I should’ve done what I did to that weird Indian guy whose conversation I still keep cuz’ it reminds me that men can be horribly desperate. (Which I SHOULD post here soon, cuz’ it’s REALLY good material.)

Well, it’s his fault too cuz’ he is unbearably charming and a GREAT father.

Oh wait. Father? What??!

Yeah. To top it all off, he is a single father, whose great love for his son just makes me want to fall deeper into the stupid rabbit hole.

And we just made a pact not to speak to each other until we can clear our heads and clarify…. something. (I don’t even know why we’re doing it. Seriously.)

OH! And here’s the best part! (Lean closer, people!)

We’ve only known each other for a week! And we’ve already done most of the things couples do. Like fight. And have really opinionated discussions and arguments. And talk about our lives and dreams and shit like that.

Yeah, we’ve fought. Small one as it was, it still symbolised something right? I mean, if this guy was not serious, then why would he yell at me? (Yeah, he started it.)

I think my lack of things to do have made me completely bonkers. What I need to do now is to just clear my head or something.

Or maybe just jump into the pool cuz’ I sure could use a soak right now.

Cuz' I'm living out the script of my life

My nineteenth birthday went well. As you grow older, I don't think you expect much out of birthdays. I'm just glad I got to spend it with people I loved. My family and my best friends.

Right now, I'm nursing a horrible cold and a sore throat. It sucks mainly cuz' I have my BTT tml and I'm dying here.

Okay! Updates!

I got conditional offers to study at Manchester and Southampton. However, I don't really know whether to accept those offers. For now, I'm just waiting for my results. And trying to find a job. Maybe.

I did have an admin job, but I quit after a week. It was just way too dull for my preference.

I honestly feel so horrid, I can barely form words enough to make for an interesting post.

So, just for kicks, I shall describe my nineteenth birthday in as much detail as I can muster.

On my nineteenth,

I woke up at 830 because my throat started hurting.

I went for mass at HFC and then went for lunch at NYNY with my parents, 2nd bro and sister-in-law.

I bought two pairs of shoes from BATA and went home.

Got changed and went to meet the gang at AMK mrt.

Took the bus to the night safari and ate at KFC.

Watched the 'Creatures of the Night' show.

Walked around the trails.

Was too scared to enter the bat cave cuz' I'm not really a fan of flying critters.

Took the tram ride (which is actually pretty cool)


The gang bought me Friends season 10! It's super hilarious and I absolutely love it.

I really wasn't expecting to get it.

And I still feel sick and super sorry for myself. :(

Oh well. good luck to me for my BTT tml!

I'll really try to blog more often, but I get really really lazy. And cuz' my blog and gmail occupy two different google accounts, it gets annoying to sign in and out.

Anyway, Happy CNY to all!