Okay. So here's the main scoop. I got a new phone, and the Internet is completely impossible to use over there. Or maybe I'm too used to the capabilities of my very reliable itouch. Whatever the case may be, it sure beats my old broken down phone, so I ain't complaining.
Right. Onto the subject proper. I keep having the same disgusting feeling. Again and again. And it's so gross. And yet I can't get rid of it. It's like a disease. It's so disgusting. It's turned me into a person I don't like. A person that can never look her Lord in the eye again.
I feel like I'm slowly slipping away from my faith. The funny thing is that it's so slow, I can barely feel it. And yet, I know. I don't have that oomph feeling I get when I talk about Him now. I just get a sad little hurrah that barely makes it out of my lips in one sound.
I know he'll forgive me for the things I've done, but then again, I don't feel like I should be forgiven. I feel like him forgiving me would be wayyy too easy for Him to do it. And yet I know I can't go on without him. That I'll probably need to go running to him soon... Like now, for instance.
The Lord is super disappointed in me. That much I know. I feel like such a failure.
Right now, I don't have anymore motivation. I feel like I'm hanging on a thread, not knowing where it'll swing to, when it'll break...
It's such a sad sad day when u know that all you have going for you... Is nothing.
This is a girl. This is her blog. That's pretty much the gist of where you are now on the internet.
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