For those days we felt like a mistake.

It's really hard to comprehend what is really expected of you when you're only 17.

At one end, you're mature enough to be able to make the right decisions, you're supposed to start taking ownership of certain things. Supposed to bank on those responsibilities that you weren't exactly taken seriously for until now.

And yet, people still treat you like you don't matter. Like you're still too young to understand what goes on in this spherical little globe we call 'the world'.

I'm not complaining that there is this... 'gauge' of sorts.

It's just that it gets so tiring to be flitting from one end of the 'stick' to the other. And it becomes so irritating when you THINK this is the part when you're supposed to..... and it turns out that 'nope. sorry. wrong extreme. try again.'

Horrible, isn't it?

And then there's another part to this story. The whole 'everyone has it, so..... why aren't I....?'

Maybe that's why I'm getting so much new stuff now. Cuz' I can't get what I really want.

Then again, what IS IT that I really want?

That's always a toughie, huh.

I just told Vonne and gang that this year was a pretty good year on a hold. They said that this year was pretty extreme. I couldn't agree more.

2009 is an extreme year. I could be absolutely contented one minute, and then my entire perspective on what is known as 'my life' would change.

If only...

Why should I continue hoping though? It's obvious that there is only one path available for me at this point.

Yeah.

That's life for you..

It's complicated.