Take a bite of my heart tonight

Honestly, I can’t decide on a lot of things right now.

I wish I could get someone to make all my major decisions for me.

It just seems like a lot of pressure on my part to make the decisions that fit me the best. Each choice having its own consequence and impact.

Recently, I downloaded my 150 game pack into my laptop. Which honestly, with the exception of Tradewinds, just lagged the whole computer.

I also downloaded Drake & Josh, having somehow developed a craving for it over the past few days. It does bring me happiness. HAPPINESS.

And now, I’m majorly regretting my decision to work in a neighbourhood school. Who am I kidding? I’m a sheltered convent girl who grew up in a middle-income family with a maid. I honestly know nothing about poverty, hardships or having to work and study at the same time.

So going into a neighbourhood might be too much of a stretch for me. I mean, how am I supposed to relate to these kids?

In other news, I gave what I thought was a pretty resounding speech to Shufen who fell asleep in the middle of it. =/

And that’s been my life for the past few days.

Tomorrow, I mambo the night away with my girls.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll blog about it.

When busy streets amass with people

I haven’t blogged in a while.

Before I do, however, I would just like to say, for the record, that stick-on tattoos are a horrible idea.

Hmm… I’m going to leave Singapore for Manchester in a few months.

And I plan to use this as a way to dictate events that happen to me while I’m away.

So do expect more stuff on this blog in the near future.

Also, I think I just had one of the world’s shortest relationships.

And honestly? I thought I got away unscathed.

But I guess as with my infatuations, you only know when you meet another guy.

Oh well.

I think I only did what I did because I was very bored.

Anyway, I’m going try for relief teaching now.

Oh God. I am so boring.

It’s all about the wordplay

So, I had a crazy week.

To start it off, Alex asked me to be his girlfriend.

Which I said yes to because I didn’t see the harm.

And although we’ve talked about it, I think we’re now both confused on whether we’re a couple or not. HAHAHA.

Andd… I finally talked to my mum. So i’m most probably going to UK.

I already applied for accommodation at Manchester. :D

I NEED TO PACK FOR TAIWAN. DAMN YOU PROCRASTINATION.

Alone

I DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!

I FEEL MY HEART BREAKING INTO TINY PIECES.

I FEEL MY DREAM BEING WASHED AWAY.

I FEEL MY WHOLE WORLD COMING TO AN END.

I FEEL LIKE IF I DIE NOW, EVERYTHING WOULD JUST GO AWAY.

EVERYTHING WOULD BE BETTER.

I WOULD BE FREE FROM ALL THIIS PAIN.

Hopelessly devoted to you

I love how he makes me feel when I’m super upset and need someone to talk to. He’s surprisingly always there at the right moments, time difference be damned.

But we still need to talk. And I don’t care how uncomfortable it gets for him.

I wondered what went wrong so that she had to roam the streets.

“Fuck southeast asian academics. Its too hard and demanding and you all are smarter than the rest of the world ever will be anyway.”

I think God put Alex in my life for a reason.

FUCKING GOING CRAZY.

You and I both loved.

So I think I'm gonna break up with him. Except, is it counted as a break up if we never were official?

Anyway, it's for the best. He's graduating soon and I don't wanna be the bitch that made him spend more time with me instead of his books. And we've only known each other for a week and a half so it's better that we break now.

So why do I feel so rotten inside?

What the hell is it about him that makes me feel like I've known him forever and I wanna be with him?? I'm crazy, right? It's not like I've even met the guy in person.

So why is it so damn hard to let go?

You tell me your blue skies fade to grey

I honestly cannot wait to start school. Firstly, all feelings of laziness would mostly leave. Secondly, I would get to meet new friends. And lastly, I wouldn’t feel like shit most of the time.

Take a chance and don’t ever look back.

I was happy with the results I got today.

No, not them A’level nonsense.

Anyway, I now have an ultrascan of my uterus. =/

Lord, PLEASE give me the strength to take it slow. VERY slowly.

It’s just some little thing.

So, the most craziest thing happened to me today. An Englishman licked my ice-cream. It was the CRAZIEST thing ever. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Tia, Sharon and I were at the ATM and we (Tia and myself) mentioned that we felt like having long island iced teas. Tia then said she craved a ‘sex on the beach’ cocktail. I then proceeded to say (very loudly, as I usually am.) that I liked sex on the beach.

The next thing I knew, this guy (blonde hair/blue eyes) with his bicycle was behind us asking what flavour the ice-cream I had in my hand was. (I bought the cone from the Turkish ice-cream place.) I said ‘mango’ and told him that he could get his own at the Turkish ice-cream place. He then said he really liked mango and asked if I could give him a lick of my ice-cream. So… I did. Cuz’ what the HELL do you answer to that? And he LICKED IT. Completely seductively. It was so crazy!

And he asked me if I liked mango. I told him I was partial to the flavour. o.0

Tell me something, I was just hit on by a guy from England, right? Hahahaha!

Anyway, I have lived today, people. How many people (in Singapore) can say they let an Englishman lick their ice-cream?? :DD

These words are all I have so I’ll write them.

Today, I learned that there are more methods of showing your middle finger. It’s actually really rewarding teaching the kids, except when the boys think it’s funny to show ‘Jie Jie’ how their middle finger looks solo.

And apparently, they’re getting really naughty too. One eleven-year-old told me his discipline master caught his classmate and told him to cut his hair. The boy then proceeded to retort back, ‘You jealous, ah’ because apparently, the poor DM was balding in the front.

Anyway, they’re still a joy to teach. :)

Here, I get mopey and all boring.

I guess I’m just really afraid of what an LDR entails. Tia said it’s something adventurous. In simple English, it’s probably crazy. Firstly, without him physically present here, I kinda get annoyed and even though he’s really sweet with his words, it’s not the same. Saying ‘hug’ and actually giving one is a thousand times worth of difference.

Secondly, the trust you place in the person is extremely huge. Because we’re thousands of miles apart, separated by many oceans, I can only assume whatever he tells me is the truth. And I can’t do anything but believe him. Same for him. It’s not like we can take a cab down if we think the other is being unfaithful. Or a liar.

Basically, those are the ‘only’ two issues. Of course, those are probably the two largest issues one can have in a relationship. Besides the issue of money, of course.

Yet, I really really like him. And I don’t think I wanna stop talking to him. But is all this really worth it? Maybe I should just wait a few months before getting a boyfriend.

Why is it I always have the stupidest problems with the guys I like. WHY DAMN IT. =/

What are you waiting for?

I think it’s getting a bit hard because I’m asleep when he’s awake and he’s asleep when I’m awake and we only get to talk to each other for a few hours a day.

Anyway, it was fun to go drinking with Tia yesterday. Watching the live band entertain the crowd was so relaxing, coupled with a long island iced tea and easy conversation with my wifey.

It was nice finally being able to stay out past midnight again. I haven’t done that in a while. Should really do it more often.

I think with her problems and my own, it was great having that someone to talk to. And even though we knew what laid ahead for us was nothing easy, we knew that we would support each other to the very end.

Haha! And Tia, if on the slim chance you read this, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my near-concussion two years ago. And about my family. :P You know I think you’re the most awesomest wife ever!