So this is where the story ends.

I just spent the last 15 mins searching for the cordless. It's habit for it to appear 90% of the time NOT on the stand where it's SUPPOSED to be. Someone had called and I, being the last one in the living room, went dilligently to pick it up. Well, it wasn't on the stand (surprise, surprise.) But it wasn't on the couch, dining table, chairs or beneath the cushions either...You know.. where it usually is found? So anyway, my dad, hearing that the cordless was missing, starting grumbling about our organising skills, or lack thereof. And then my mother and I begin the Great Hunt for the Cordless.

It was stuffed in between the couch.

My mother's reply? "See? So clever." Like finding the phone stuffed in the couch was a good thing.

So anyway, my mum wants me to turn in early. Goodness, woman! It's only 9pm! Apparently, we're attending the 9.15am mass tml... And then anne's coming over with anabelle. That'll be quite weird, seeing as how I'm not close to anabelle.. but i'll give it the good ol' BOTD. (Benefit of the doubt for the sake of some.) But then, it's swim time! Again, not neccessarily a good thing. I LOVE the water, but still..

My laptop's connection is on the brink of collapsing... I don't know when I'll get my new laptop. Mother says if I want one, we need 'good ol' bro' to go with us. But Brother doesn't think I need a comp and is trying oh-so-hard to convince mother to get a more expensive desktop instead. Erm, okay, honestly, I may not need it now, but come JC, I will. Of course no one will understand, because no one has gone that far in their education to. Try telling THAT to my brother.

Going for the 9.15 mass is not neccessarily a good thing. Reasons will not be stated here. And wow, what do i WEAR?

No, I'm kidding.

Probably jeans.

Or a skirt?

Hmm....

Anyway, I just love my new blogskin! I think it's SOO nice! Judging by how I don't have photoshop, this is SOO top-notch. Brilliant. Clever. Smart. Fantastic. Oh the words!

To see my other skin, click on the credit link (the 'yours truly' one) because i'm WAYY too lazy to hyperlink it. I made a total of 3... the third one having spent it's debut here for a span for 2 days. (Or was it one?) to see it, go to my photoshop page. I doubt anyone really wants to.. but if you do.. my photoshop account is babygurl6292. I don't know the link (too lazy to look for it.) so if you REALLY wanna see it and don't know how, ask me.

"Cuz' this is real, and this is good. It warms your insides just like it should." - Built to last, Melee

Maybe we'll fly the night away

"Being a Talkative is a Privilege. Being true friends is life."

Thank you for the best times of my life. (: I love you guys!

Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

I almost started playing Dark Cut 2... but I was munching on some pears and the sudden boom as the game started almost made me choke, not to mention the weird sounds and graphics that almost made me throw up. Ok, I'm a bit of a coward.. sue me.

Anyway, I decided to write this, especially after reading mel's blog. So Mel, whenever you read this.. (tomorrow, or the day after..) remember that you inspired this. And FOR GOODNESS SAKE, please tag. Thank you. (:

I realised that I'll be Sec4 next year. Yes, I can hear the 'ohh's and the 'aiyoh's, however, I'm still gonna pen this down, so suck it up.

When I first entered Secondary School, my brothers' first (impressively mature) words to me were 'You'd better enjoy yourself alot, it'll pass by in a flash.' I didn't believe him. Yeah, Primary School rocked hell, but I felt it still took too long to end (must be PSLE..) so why should Sec Sch be any different? Boy, were they right. (Like, a new record.. one in a row!)

Next year will definitely be not-as-rocky as this year was. Emotions ran so high, like the unpreditable tidal waves, there were times I cried for sadness, times I cried for pure happiness and contentedness. I found my true friends in this year, though I felt I knew who they were since sec 1 or 2, this year was when i KNEW who they were.

And not only will I miss my class terribly, I'll miss my church friends too. That's harder. more than TWICE harder. I mean, I've known them for 10 years, that's more than my life, two-thirds to be exact. What would I do after they leave me? Sure, Nat and Belle are joining the YC, but what about joan? and tiara? even sam? Especially my annoying looooongest-i've-ever-known JOAN. She apparently wants to remain passive in church. What then? A decade of friendship slowly forgotten? I don't want that. I really want us to remain bonded as ever.

Hopefully, wishing on stars work like people say they do...

"Cause you caught me off guard, now I'm running and screaming..." - Hero/Heroine, Boys like Girls

I've looked for love in stranger places

I would like to thank my readers (as silent as they may be.) for their support. Haha, BUT, my blog may close permanently sometime next year. I'll leave my posts up here of course, so I can read it sometimes myself.

And I'm quite excited about the Beijing Trip! My hols are quite packed as it is..I don't even know how I remember my own schedule sometimes.. but it's really too late to do anything about it.. i can't write it down now because, as mentioned, I don't know what's gonna happen.

I'm even working this holiday! But it's only for two days... And I'll probably not get much money. Still, money is money. And I do need quite a bit of expenses..

Can someone please play contract bridge with me?! Share in the excitment! Well, actually, the initial excitment is wearing off... My new love is Happyland adventures... I don't know if I should download it or save it for those boring lessons in Comp Lab 4.

SPA was so TIRING. I can't have both sciences' SPA in one day, it's just too much!

An update on Operation F.M.... So far, doing quite well... just gotta try and control my memories... which is impossible you know? Oh well...

A 'shoutout' for Anne darling, Joan the Tortoise (why, Anne, why?), and the Beauty and the Beast?? Anne is SO hilarious sometimes huh? You do NOT want to know who she says the beauty and the beast are. But some people might think it obvious. I didn't. Hopefully we can go tan ourselves huh? Or maybe this announcement was too early. Hmm.

"I want to swim away but don't know how, sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down, let the rain come down. " - Into the Ocean, Blue October.

Let Me Count Thy Ways

There's no school tml for me, but I would like to wish all the HMT students good luck. Anyway, I either have very quiet readers or none at all. Cuz no one's been tagging... Anyway, it's good and bad either way. That means I can prob crap away without fear of losing any readers, and it also means no one finds my blog good enough.. oh well.. either way... I'll accept things the way they are.

So far, Operation F.M. has been quite successful. And then I question why I started it in the first place... then I say it's for my own good. Well, I hope I know what I'm doing anyway.. I could end up hurting a few in the process. Don't want that happening..

I recently downloading a couple of songs.. Quite new, quite not-so-new. Either way, they're very enjoyable. Fade Away by Olivia is the best calming song ever. So jazzy in a sense, and smooth... it's also easy on the ears, great for breaks, or something to listen to before a nap. And it's so.. even... I mean, you know how some songs jump from being so quiet to becoming so incredibly loud all of a sudden.. this one's quite soft, i guess, but just so classy! Haha.. I'm advertising something for free okay, make use of it. Oh! I know the perfect words to describe it! Bar music. I can almost imagine myself back in the Equatorial Hotel, sipping on a Shirley Temple and listening to this song. Ohh the life..

It's the meet-the-parents thing tml, and honestly, I don't know if I'm more afraid of my mum meeting Ms. Tee or Ms. Tee meeting my mum. They may SEEM to mean the same thing, but trust me. They are different.

And I'll either get my computer fixed tml, or get a new one. WHOO. Well, I hope I do anyway, with my mum, it's never certain.

Have I even mentioned Contract Bridge yet? It's fantastic! At first, it was awesome, and then I realised there were a lot of things i didn't know.. hence, I found it confusing and not enjoyable. But now, I've learnt quite abit of strategy playing, and i LOVE it! Honestly, it's alot better than the original one, because more thinking is involved and the original sometimes makes me irritated because my partner has no idea that she is. OF course, apparently, that's the fun part, but it does get irritating after a while. Contract bridge is still the BOMB.

And Hearts is another game I learnt. So strategic! Sometimes it's confusing if someone is trying to avoid the hearts or trying to get them all. Again, learn it to love it.

My new passion comes from cards. Anyone wanna teach me a new game? I catch on fast. (:

"You see, I know it's just a crush, and a crush will never last, no. No one's forcing it boy."

It's just the beginning of things.

Well, Day Numero Duos of my Operation Forget and Move On has been unsuccessful thus far. It was a little easier remembering what caused the operation to begin in the first place, but forgetting has been so hard. This is like some sick epic movie. In a few years, I would have the ability to stand up and say 'Getting over you has been the most difficult thing I've had to do.' IF i ever get to say it that is.

It's not helping that the sudden change of attitude was the trigger in which caused it. It's just instinct feeling you know? It hurts so terribly. This WILL be the most emotional time of my life. I hope it IS anyway, I doubt I can take anymore of it. And to think the change happen within a span of less than 12 hours...

I really tried today. But environment and circumstances prevented me from doing anything about my emotions and I ended up thinking about it alot. Didn't help that the environment was a huge cause for my problems.

And well, hopefully this arrangement will last for a while...I think what happened today was a blessing in disguise in a way... if the morning didn't happen, then it would be great. Incredibly hard and painful, but great nonetheless.

I really don't know what I'll do. If ever there there was a mortal version of the oblivion curse, I'll be the first in line to get it.

I just want to forget, is that so hard?

Should I totally erase this part of my life? Yes. The Answer is, I should.

Goodbye.

Hey, your friends are together, side by side and year by year,
The road was filled with twists and turns.
Oh, but that’s the road that got us here.
Let’s move past the bad times.
But before those memories fade…
Let’s forgive, but not forget the love from all the mistakes we made.
-Come so far, Got so far to go. (Elijah Kelly, Zac Efron, Nikki Blonsky - Hairspray Soundtrack)

We've come so far.

Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful...

making love with you is all I want to do...

Loving you is more than just a dream come true...

And everything that I do is out of loving you..

-Loving You by Tynisha Keli. Animation by animationlibrary.com

********

I guess all good things must come to an end sometime. It was a good run anyway... Guess I had lots of fun (and suffering) in the process. Now just to figure out how to forget and move on...

That's gonna be the hard part. I need lots and lots of willpower. Which I obviously have none of.

Oh well... Off to hell for me! I just hope I come out of it in one piece... unscatched if I'm lucky.

*******

I just love my new matress.. it was about time I got one anyway... Now to try and get a good night's sleep after a few failed times.

And Happy hasn't been around for some time... maybe that's why I feel so sad..

*******

"Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the spring time."

Some lyrics are just so corny you want to laugh. And yet, sometimes it's like an uncanny relation to your emotions.

Deep, huh?

Ignore and Walk away.

Ok. This post will be hidden because it will make no sense to many people. I just need to vent out some random things that aren't important. Have a nice day and remember, If it feels all cold in the world, you just left the window open.

OMG! Can you just stop making a fool of yourself??? It's like no one really cares that u exist lah!! GOSH, you are absolutely annoying you know??!! HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. of course it would sure HELP if SOMEONE WOULD give you a HINT or TWO.

And I AM NOT GAY. WTF is WRONG with you??!! GOSHH!!! You were the IDIOT flirting with me in the FIRST PLACE!! i TOLD you i wasn't PRETTY. BUT IM NOT GAY. i bet you think i'm a man don't you?? GOSH... you SICKEN me!!!

FUCK YOU too!! No one has EVER talked to me like that and no ONE WILL. You think you're SUCH a big shot don't you??!! Well, BITCH IS YOU.

GOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH... WHY DO I KEEP MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF???? IS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I AM SUFFERING?? I STILL HAVE TO BEAR WITH IT FOR ANOTHER HALF YEAR.. AND MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN THAT. I SOMETIMES WISH THIS COULD ALL STOP.

I feel SOO MOODY NOW. i hate MALES so MUCH. 'ohh shiittt. u r gay. bye' Fuck you buddy. Fuck you.

THERE. FEELING MUCH BETTER.

I hate dragonflies, don't you?

Mood Swing

Operation Clean-up is so much fun!

"Throw it away... forget yesterday..' HAHA! Poor Vic!

'We should get Jerseys..' 'Cliched!' 'AND I KNOW THAT IT'S SO CLICHED...!'

'What song should I sing?' 'School Song.' -after short pause- 'We cannot all be heroes...'

And screaming with the water squirting thingy! Nuzul! Hahaha...

Sometimes Class is absolutely crazy and enjoyable.

It's just one of those days you never wanna forget...

I love you guys! (:

I got 4th in class! I share that place with Fan and Elaina. The results itself is not up to standard...but I think I could do much worse..

And only 2 more days till chinese ends... what a killer.

The little things that make you weep

I felt quite moody today. There's a reason. I mean, there should a PLAUSIBLE reason right?

Why is it the same person that I share laughs with almost made me cry today?

It was really hard holding it in. I almost broke down in the end. What stopped me? Sheer willpower. Not to let them have the glee of watching me.

I don't want to hide my blog posts. I think the world should share in my misery. Fuck them anyway.

At least my other friends used to be honest with their feelings. I don't know whether they're shitting me or not.

As you can see, this is a great contrast from yesterday. I swear, I'm going crazy any moment now.

Why is being a teenager so hard? And why can't people just be honest? I don't CARE if you dislike me, I'll complain, don't fret, but at least I'll know. GOD, i HATE it when people just ACT like they still want me around even when deep down, they'd rather wrestle with snakes. OH TRUST ME, I'll give them the fucking snakes ANY DAMN DAY.

I really don't get it. I'll never change. I know they won't either, and I accept that. Can't they accept me? No. The truth is just that. I fucking HATE this! Now I'm questioning MY OWN esteem when I should be smacking their smirks off.

I swear, if I could count the number of people I consider my true and honest friends, I need only one hand. One damn hand. The others are just shadows I hang out with for pride purposes.

Pride and Reputation can be overpowering after all. I got that from a Fan Fiction.

I swear, someTHINGS are not worth 10 years. Not even one.

I just wish I could be a better niece and miss my auntie more.

Maybe I would have had someone to talk to. Even if she irritates me to no end.

But that's just life.

And the people not worth my time and effort are those that make me question my existence on earth.

If i remember this, I'll never make friends again.

Wake me up in 10 years please, when this whole shit nightmare is OVER.

-------

On the bright side, I'd be outta here in a year more or less. I shall spend more time on books and not worry shit about these idiots ever again.

And I'm going swimming with Raman later. What will I ever do when she leaves? I don't want to think about it.

Soup of Cream and Potato Wedges with Cheese.

I think today was really enjoyable.

That's right elaina, I ENJOYED it. so SUE me.

Using Joan's words, This was the most fun I've ever had at parkway.

Poor belle and her internal bleeding. And i really THINK we've officially joined the Youth Council! I ain't kidding!

I LOVE the YC!! With Audra(aka. Audwa or Audea), Manny (the Man.), Andrew(not-the-'boss' of choir), Annye (i don't know which spelling it is.) and the other people like Joshua (TEO.), Sabrina and Valerie! But they're YFs.

And we were late for lunch because of liturgy.. they went burger king to eat and we ended up buying sushi from giant. The sushi is NICE. and cheap. like REAL cheap.

Went to the secret hideout... can you believe how cold it is? Actually, the corner wasn't so cold. Taught the boys bridge. It is seriously such a fun fun fun game! I swear, I'll never get tired of it..after that we really couldn't tahan the cold anymore and left.

Went to CSC to bowl. With bumpers! They're my new best friends. Ok, I suck at bowling. Like, majorly. But bumpers are cool! They are SO AWESOME. Joan agrees with me. We're the bumpers team! And joan is a happy kid. I'm just a noob using bumpers.

With BUMPERS i challenge elaina to a bowling game! And i'll use the bumpers to help me score my spares! WHOO! Bumpers are the new LOVE.

Woah. I said bumpers like, many times. Bumpers. That was for added emphasis.

And the potato wedges are nice! with cheese! WHEE. I scored a 72 for bowling! I ROCK. ((:

We had make-your-own popiah night! It's been a REALLY long time since we've had popiah night! Popiah night is soo GREAT. I have great popiah-making skills... You should compare my popiahs to the rest of the family. My plate is so clean by the end of the night, it's like i never used it.

Honestly, good day. And free bowling too. No, i am NOT some girl whose 'mind was driven by the evils of money' as dear elaina says. HAHA. It's a free game! (well, games.) Who wouldn't want it?!

I want to be born in the year of the tomato!

Cause this was Built to Last

You know what? I hate males.

No, I'm not a hard core feminist or something like it. Like Doris Lessing said, shouting about men is just self-indulging.

15 years living in a male-dominated family does change one's perspective though. Like, GIGANTICALLY.

My brothers can be SUCH HUGE pains, you know. like MAJORLY MAJORLY just-wanna-tear-off-their-heads-and-stuff-them-in-boiling-oil annoying.

They have absolutely little-to-no respect for me, because apparently, little sisters don't deserve any.

Well, that's just them isn't it? The stupid neanderthals that is the human male just makes you wanna kill yourself because of their lack of sensitivity and minds.

"Oh, don't complain when I'm helping you set up your keyboard, I don't like it."

YOU don't like it?? You were the jerk who took out my keyboard in the first place, and for SOME reason, dismantled it in your own ROOM.

And of course, there's the accusation of me being SELFISH because, apparently, I ASKED why he wanted to use my laptop.

IM SORRY! I didn't know what I asked was SOO rude! And here, I thought that was a PERFECTLY fine question.

Right now, NOT liking males so much. I have SOO much problems in dealing with the opposite sex. Is it because I'm not trim or something? Is that some sort of factor?

Like taking me for granted. Thinking I'll ALWAYS help because I'm 'nice'.
I mean... he's probably thinking "Oh, she has a crush on me! I'll just use her and then completely DISS her! That's alright!'

It's bad enough everything just seems to fall out of place in my life, I tell myself he's not worth it. And then, a week later (or sooner.) I'm practically running to the moon for him. I hate that.

Oh, woe is me. The irritating bitches making my life a living hell which are the teenage hormones. A girl can't catch a break, OH NO... that'll be out of protocol. Unorthodox.

Maybe I'll just end up like one of those old maids that get cats. I hope not. I don't have a particular fondness for felines.

I know one thing. To like someone like me, you need incredible tolerance. That's something not many people I know have. So, basically, most people in my life are just tolerating me. That kinda sucks, doesn't it? Knowing you don't really have much friends who like you for who you are.

Maybe that's why I have problems with boys.