So let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun.

This week turned out a lot better than I expected it to, considering I didn't actually plan any of the activities until it was pretty last minute.

First of all,

that happened. For anyone who doesn't know, that is Mark Foster, lead vocals of super mega awesome Indie Pop band, Foster The People. And I was literally about 2 metres away from him. The band is extremely amazing live, I've got to say. I'm not even like, a mega fan or anything. I didn't even listen to their music (besides the largely popular 'Pumped Up Kicks') prior to a day before the concert.

A friend just messaged me the night before and asked if I wanted to see them live. 'They're so amazing! It doesn't even matter if you're a fan or not!' was her sales pitch. And I've gotta say, she was right. Yeah, the entire place was packed, and we got pushed and squashed around for most of the 3 hours that we were there. We also had to wait in the freezing cold for about an hour before the actual concert. But it was worth it. I've gotta say. Would totally recommend this to anyone not feeble or easily freaked out by crowds.

Secondly, a couple of friends and I decided to have an impromptu night out at 5th Ave. Gotta say, I really do love the club only because I've been pretty into Indie music for a while now. Had an amazing time. Of course, I couldn't remember half the night, but that's why it was so amazing.

So yeah, this week turned out to be my 'end of freedom before exams' week. Of course, in saying that, I realised that my second brother is coming into town next week, so hitting the books next week is again, going to be pretty hard. But I'll try to plan stuff around my brother's visit.

Completely haven't touched my books at all this week. Which is really horrible.

But I've gotta say, I'm happy just experiencing life for what it is. Doing crazy things in my youth, screaming, losing my voice, just being happy. I can say I didn't let life go by wasted.

Another thing that shocks me constantly now is how many views my blog has been getting. I don't even know where all these viewers are coming from, but thank you for visiting (and/or reading. HAHA.) It's not like I'm getting thousands of views, but even 15-20 views a day is pretty flattering. :) That being said, it could be like those weird robot things that randomly view sites... Hmm.

In other news, I may be going to Amsterdam just before I go back to Singapore and I've asked my mum whether I could extend my stay, so YAY!

Life just keeps getting better, dunnit?

Tonight, we are young.

Tell me what you want

Sometimes I don't understand why...

Sigh. Anyway.

I need rest.

And as it fell, you rose to claim it.

For anyone who read the last post, I do apologise for my outburst.

Anyway! The matter is pretty much over. :)

I've had a rough couple of months. It's been a lot of ups and downs. The Lord truly put me through some tough times, but I'm glad to say, I think I'll be well and truly fine. :)

There was a period of time where I didn't even go to class, instead staying at home feeling totally and utterly desolate.

Thinking about it now... I can't believe that was only a few months ago. I really do feel like it happened eons ago.

I'm actually doing pretty well now. So far, in all my essays, I've managed to maintain a respectable 2.1. I *did* put in quite a bit of effort for my public law 2 essay. And scraping a 2.1 was a little bit of a disappointment. But I've read his comments about it and realised that there is a lot I could improve on. And you know what? I will. And I will get that 2.1 average OR first, if it's still possible. God be willing.

Okay well, that aside. I cannot be MORE excited that my Dorothy Perkins shipment of clothes has been despatched. Yes, I know. I'm a shoppaholic. But you know what? I BOUGHT A CUTE NEW NAVY STRIPED DRESS, SO YAY.

I do think that I need new pajamas though. I might head to Primark or something on Thursday as a treat. :)

Okay, you can tell I'm pretty happy. :)

I hope I can keep this up! :D

(Insert Jurassic Park Theme Song)

Hmm okay. I'm gonna try to approach this delicately.

Whatever is written on my blog, stays on my blog.

I rarely use this as a platform to burn others. (Notwithstanding those early teenager years before 2008.)

In fact, you can tell that most of these posts are about how I feel. About certain things. I use my most vulnerable self sometimes when writing posts.

And I'd appreciate if, when you read anything that could be used against me, you refrain from doing so.

I understand that, yes, this is a social media platform so anything I say here *can* technically be used against me.

But I implore you. I don't dedicate posts to 'that bitch I met today' or 'the idiot who couldn't shut up'.

I write here mainly because it's a good way to express myself without having to actually talk to anyone. Also, if anyone out there reads this and can maybe relate, they would know that they're not alone in any way.

If you wanna drop me a comment or message about anything, you may. I'm fine with that. If it's a genuine concern, I will reply you. My Facebook can be accessed by clicking on my many faces.

But if you use any information here for your own vindication, you have got to be the worst person in the world to exploit someone's inner expressions like that.

That's all.

It's not hard for me to love you, no, it's not a difficult thing.

At this point, I'm supposed to be starting on my 2000-word essay. Alas... I am not.

Sitting here in front of my computer typing this... I actually feel content. Not gleefully happy, or nonchalance, or wistful sadness. Just. Content.

To be honest, my life isn't completely going smoothly. As least, not how I would want to picture it. I seem to be losing a few friends here and there. I'm still horribly lazy about going to the gym. (Which I really should to train and strengthen that ankle of mine.) I still don't have someone in my life to call my own. And I'm not totally up to par with school work.

But listen: I'm not worrying. Firstly, you lose friends here and there. Some come, some go. I shouldn't worry that much about it. At the end of the day, if it wasn't meant to be, then I'll let it go, knowing that I tried my best and wasn't any more I could do. The gym, yeah... I really should go. So maybe this week, I'll plan one or two sessions. (Nothing to worry about now, I suppose.) About school work, well, I've been doing work the past few days. It's still a slow process, but at least I'm doing something. :)

And someone to call my own? Haha. I actually surprised myself with this one. Thinking about it now... I don't need anyone right now. If someone comes along, and we hit it off, great! But you know what? I've stopped looking. I've actually stopped looking. Wow. It's hilarious, me typing this. I couldn't believe it myself, to be honest. No, I've not given up on love. No, I'm not completely black-hearted now, filled with the shambles of past relationships. (Lol.) I've just, lifted this up to God.

I've been feeling a bit more confident about myself. Well, to be honest, that comes and goes faster than Wile E. Coyote blows himself up with Acme TNT, but hey. It's a learning curve.

You know what helps? The occasional annoying conversation from a random acquaintance on facebook. I've not talked to him in years, but recently, he's been talking to me a lot more. It's flattering more than anything to be completely honest. So even when I complain about it on twitter or to my friends, I've gotta admit, it's things like these that make me smile and realise that hey, I'm someone who's attractive and there're people out there who think so. So I don't need a particular person's opinion to keep me going. :)

And of course, no matter how many friends come and go, I know the few that will always be there. Never judging, never leaving. And that makes me happy. Because I could have 1000 facebook friends and 1000 twitter followers, but as long as I have these friends, everyone else could 'un-friend'/'un-follow' me and it would be okay. :)

So, yeah. Even though things aren't perfect now, I'm content. :)

You know what? A friend of mine once said that he loathed perfection. Because it took with it imagination, creativity and drive. And he's right. We should all strive for perfection. But the best part about life is that we will probably never get any. And that's fine by me. :)

From a bird's eye view I can see...

I just had to post pictures of my shepherd's pie. Other than the 'quiche' thing I made a few months ago, this has been one of the best dishes I've made completely from scratch. Even with my lasagna, I cheated with the cheese sauce (because I couldn't be arsed.)

I'm honestly really impressed with my cooking skills now. Although to be honest, I probably won't cook much when I go back to Singapore. Somehow, my creative freedom just comes to me here. So yay. :)

Tu mia luna tu sei qui con me

"The world as I see it is a remarkable place."

I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I've been pretty diligent with work lately. Sure, I've been slacking a little, but the last few days have seen me being best friends with my books.

And I actually understand almost 90% of stuff they talk about during lectures. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

Okay well, hopefully this keeps itself up. :)

In other news, I'm gonna attempt to make Shepherd's Pie tonight! Hopefully it all goes well! :D

Warning signs that no one showed me

The internet is one scary mutha-fucked up place if you don't know how to handle yourself.

This girl... I don't know her name, so let's call her Z. She didn't think her little comment made any difference in the world... Oh, how it came to bite her in the tushy.

Okay. Let's start from the beginning for anyone who happens to be reading this and needs some context.

An NSF man (whom apparently, is good friends with many of my church friends, though I don't know him personally) passed away a few days ago (was it yesterday? Forgive my lack of knowledge with current affairs.) after training in camp.

Z's friend posted a link on his/her Facebook wall regarding this incident. Z commented on it 'Singaporeans are weak. LOL' Or something of the sort.

And then, BAMM! Anarchy, and chaos and havoc over the normally docile and somewhat peaceful interweb.

People started burning her on forums, in tweets, in articles, on facebook, by commenting on every single available piece of social network. Oh dear. And she seems so young too. =/

Apparently, she had to delete all her social media accounts too.

Okay, yes, her comment was silly and uncalled for. And certainly, it turned certain societal groups into angry mobs. But for all those people to whom it doesn't affect except in a disgusted and angry way, please, STOP IT!

I'm talking about all you girls who've never gone through NS and are going 'Well! We'd never say that! We love our army men too much!' I'm talking about all you youngsters just looking for someone to talk about during 'recess' or looking for something to do online because exams are coming but 'this is current affairs so it'll help us in our education!' And well, if you think this refers to you, it probably does.

Yes, she said something stupid. But who on earth has never done something like that?? Do you honestly HONESTLY think for a minute, that by saying something like 'Singaporeans are weak', she meant to offend an entire army of soldiers, the Singapore government who's directly in charge of the training NSF men go through, AND anyone who's involved with the fitness levels of any teenager at any point in time before they head off to the army? Of course she didn't! She's not malicious! She was just making a joke (albeit not a very funny one) and thought her comment would probably get lost in the sea of facebook activity that goes on every single day.

Imagine this: Your friend posted a picture or wrote a status that didn't present him/her in a very good light. And you comment 'Oh God. You're an idiot.' Did you really mean to insinuate that your friend is a complete retard, unable to normally function in society? Of course not! (Well, unless you're that hurtful.) You just meant it in passing. Just something stupid you say every day.

Stop ruining this poor girl's life for one tiny mistake!

And the arguments I've heard/read... 'You know.. We as NSF men sacrifice so much. We lose 2 years of our lives...' 'You know.. NS training is extremely daunting, etc.'

These are of course, valid arguments. Merits in all of them, of course. But that's not the point. The point is YOU using THESE arguments against that ONE comment of a young girl. Do you really think that's fair? Really? Really?

Anyway, it's not as if many people will actually read this. I just thought I'd use this platform to express myself, as always.

I'd like to think that I'm very honest with my feelings. Or, you know. Maybe not. It depends if you're worth it, I suppose.

Cant go back, can't erase.

I've decided to stop trying so hard.

I've done my best. It's not up to me now.

All I can do is pray that things go back to normal..

It may, it may not. Again, I need to tell myself that it's no longer for me to decide. I think I've been trying. I tried acting normal, reaching out...

Nothing has worked.

So okay. Maybe it's just a matter of giving it time. Give things some time to settle.

And at the end of day, everything that happens is God's will.

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind.

Okay. I kinda clicked on the whole 'Change your blogger dashboard!' thing andd... it looks kinda weird and horrible...

Fine whatever. Everyone's turning into facebook. Connectivity. Social media. Gosh.

Anyway, I'm in a conundrum.

I sorta wanna publicise my blog a little. At the same time it has served its purpose of letting me rant shit and scream fuck for 8 years now. (Yes, EIGHT years! Isn't that just fucking amazing? :D )

I don't ever think my parents should see this blog. Or my brothers. Although my second brother does know of its existence... Well, I'm just hoping he never checks it again.

Oh Gosh. If my family knew what's been going on with me... Wow. I'd be sent home faster than you can say 'transit flight!'.

So okay. I guess I have my answer there. I can never publicise my blog. Which is good I suppose. I know it's stupid. If I don't want anyone to see this, why even have a blog?

It's hard to say, I suppose.. On one hand, I hope that none of my friends ever read this. On the other hand, it seems like an easier way to 'spread the tales of my life', so to speak.

Also, I suppose it's liberating to know that random people can just see this. And they don't know who the hell I am. Well, they sort of do (due to my profile being on the page and my photo and everything..) but...

Okay. I'm pretty... ehh. I don't even know the words. HAH. (That's a first, ain't it?)

I suppose if someone really wanted to know what happened with my life, they could snoop around my profile and find this little gem. And oh, the fun they'll have!

Of course, I'm banking on the fact that no one really cares that much to want to know EVERYTHING that has happened with me.

On the other hand, as I've mentioned before, some things I blog about.. I do want people to know that, hey! I've expressed my opinion somewhere! I can't do that though. Not without consequences.

As I've said... the things on this blog...

Then again, anyone who's reading this now. I bet you're at curious enough to want to scroll down and read more. Or if you really couldn't care less... hey! At least you've read this far.. thanks! Have a nice life. Really. :)

Anyway! I shall be off now. Class starts tomorrow and I promised myself I'll be totally dedicated to my work from now on.

Let's see how long that'll last, shall we? ;)

I won't give up.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
And build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down


My three words have two meanings,
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you


And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
And if you're broken I'll mend you and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now


I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now


I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now


I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And colour you in
If things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall


And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
And I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours

Hey, I heard you were a wild one...

This is what I do when I'm bored.

This is also somewhat a step towards self-acceptance. Seeing my mug in different expressions. Reminding myself that I'm beautiful inside and out.

And if you don't like it, well, if you're a complete stranger reading this, I guess it doesn't really matter!

:D