Don't make a fuss

I feel that much happier.

I guess.

I don't know anymore.

Sometimes, you just get so tired and all you want to do is fall asleep for a long time.

Sometimes you need someone to talk to, but the moment you have that someone, you don't know what to say.

Sometimes, you want to do something, but the moment that opportunity arrives, you sit there and do nothing.

Sometimes, all you want is not to care anymore.

Because it's not worth it.

Sometimes.

And I am telling you I'm not going.

If God had a name, what would it be, and would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

If God had a face what would it look like and would you want to see?
If seeing meant that you would have to believe in things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets.

What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us..
Just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home.
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

Love your life.

I see ya blowin' me a kiss It doesn't take a scientist
To understand what's going on baby
If you see something in my eye
Let's not over analyze
Don't go too deep with it baby

So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll play loose
Not like we have a date with destiny

It's just a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you

Life is a maze, love is a riddle.

Life will start to get a little more mundane now. I don't care. After a hell of a crazy holiday? Mundane can be good.

Yesterday's prayer meet was about change. I like change. I hate change too. I hate it when people change. I hate it when I change.

But I was wondering what is it about change that gets to everyone? The fear of the unknown?

It is that human instinct of curiousity. We want to know what's going on so we don't get taken aback by anything.

I don't think anyone will ever be ready for change. We can try to stay calm and cool about it, but the fact of the matter is, we probably won't be able to get rid of the constant fear.

What is change to you?

On another note, I'm scouring for driving schools to enroll into.

Oh right. And I still don't like her. Haha. Thought everyone should just know. :)

Streetlight people living just to find emotion.

Communication is extremely important.

Miscommunication is probably the reason why most disputes even begin.

It gets annoying too.

And tone is of the utmost.

Well, whaddya know? THIS IS MY TONE: NOTE IT.

Come into my heart and we will never part

I dreamt that I almost got raped.

It felt just like a movie: the scene, the setting, the rapist...

I was at some family thing. I remember being in my bedroom when a guy, apparently my relative, came in. I forgot what he said but I started freaking out. The only thought on my mind was that I didn't wanna lose my virginity to this guy. It was so scary, I swear. I wanted to run out but he already locked the door. I started wailing as he came closer to me and I felt like 'this is it. My life is over.' I don't know how, but in my panic-induced state, i remembered that my phone was still clutched in my left hand. I discreetly scrolled down my contacts and called the first person I could think of; Joan. My family was still outside, I could hear them laughing. I don't know how, but I managed to wrangle out of his way and unlock the door, screaming for my mum and dad as loud as I possibly could. Joan was on the phone an I could hear her worried voice coming through the speakers. I could hear the guy right behind me and thankfully, that's when my dad decided to show up. As I heard my father yell at the guy, I crouched down behind my dining table, the phone pressed to my ear. I wasn't really talking to Joan but I kept apologising and wailing. She kept telling me to calm down and to count backwards from 9. After that, I only remember my mum and brothers and sister-in-law trying to console me.

I know this sounds terribly made-up and completely exaggarated on my part, but I swear to you that everything I wrote here is what I really experienced from my dream.

As I start off this new day, I can't help but still feel so violated and scared. I can't help but feel like I really did get almost violated.

I think I'm losing it. I'm about to go mad from the pressure.

If i can't even handle the first week of school, how am I supposed to deal with the other 51?

You took my breath but I survived

The first week of school has started. Already, I feel a sense of trepidation. I always knew the gap between my O'levels and my A'levels was short. I didn't expect it to be THAT short. I can barely stop to breathe.

My Chemistry teacher doesn't give me that feeling of 'I can do well'. I try to convince myself that she forces me to do my work, which is good. But I'm not that kind of student. If I don't like it, forcing me won't help me. It'll just give me more reason not to like it.

I need Chemistry tuition. Badly. Very badly.

Thankfully, my time-table looks a lot better than last year's. I promised myself that I would concentrate a lot more on school this year.

It's only the first week and I feel like I shouldn't be going to school just so I can finish my work. How quaint. Maybe I should try that.

Anyway, the only thing I look forward to is the weekend. However, next week approaching equals to having to go to bedok complex for swimming pe. Shit.

Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation

Parents are fighting again. Joy.

And I realise I don't like 90210. It's boring. It's like a glorified version of the hills.

And The Mentalist is cool because it's like Psych only less funny and more cute Simon Baker.

And TJC's open house is boring. I'm sorry.

But KFC and Pizza are awesome. :))

Parents are fighting. :(

A little bit caught in the middle

School's going to start soon. Oh shit.

And I'm completely hooked on Big Bang Theory. Not good.

And I get annoyed everytime I think about it so...

Welcome to my life. :)

We don't falter, we fight.

Some people are such assholes.

Not worth your time. Really.

Happy 2010

It's not a secret anymore.

I hope this year will be less crazy.

But more awesome.

A Happy New Year to everyone reading this.

This has gotta be the good life

There's this thing on facebook called 'Things I've done in 2009'. I wanna do my own original list.

THINGS I'VE DONE OR THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME IN 2009

x Spent my first New Year's with the YC at Queen's Rally. (The night before was spent with my darlings.)
x Had a realisation that I really really liked someone. A lot.
x Got surprised by my best friends, my classmates and my church friends on the best birthday yet.
x Entered into TJC.
x Made great friends. (The Daffodils)
x Got real close to my classmates (Vonne and gang)
x Joined Council Nominations
x Dropped out of Council Nominations
x Joined Tennis and Band
x Made awesome band friends.
x Got involved in 5 church commitments.
x Got involved in SYF
x Broke down due to pressure, more than once.
x Awesome Stage Band (Played 'Marie')
x Awesome after-concert Band BBQ at my place
x First horrible results in many years.
x First compulsory remedial in many years.
x Skipped Chinese class
x Passed Chinese
x Dinners and days spent with my darlings
x Easter Vigil with my best friends
x Bought my first MC
x My first visit to a polyclinic
x Was Games Head for Camp Comm
x Struggled between band and camp for a month.
x Joined OCIP
x Cambodia trip got cancelled in August (H1N1)
x China trip got cancelled a week before departure (H1N1)
x Indonesia trip got cancelled night before departure (Ferry sank)
x Designed awesome banner anyway.
x Good Fiesta concert
x Awesome church camp
x Lessons learnt from organising camp
x Friendship almost ruined
x Friendship stronger as a result
x Heart got broken
x More than once
x Got closer to a lot more people.
x Made lists.
x Sang for Feast Day Dinner (Church A capella group)
x Laughs that never stopped
x Tears that formed oceans
x Mahjong only got better
x Project Work killed everyone
x Promo results were relieving
x Got my first Apple product
x In love with my Ipod
x Will be spending NYE with my darlings. (Upset that Nat's out. :(((( )

I will wait for the arrival of the New Year with joy.

A'LEVEL YEAR. :(((((