It's like dreams coming true. In a dream.

I haven't been online in a while. When I mean a while, it means my laptop hasn't been touched by me since Friday night. Yeah sure, one day of avoiding the computer, big whoop!(as dear elaina might say.) But somehow, it feels like so long ago.

Maybe reading 'where the truth lies' just prolonged the seconds... the book was sometimes interesting to the point where i couldn't bear to put it down without groaning out my displeasure, and yet, sometimes a little monotonous that i sped read through that particular point. The plot itself already promised scandals galore to readers, and i sure wasn't disappointed. But it wasn't as if every corner and word in the book focused on these scandals alone. There were a few fleeting moments, scattered and far-in-between, that were really down-to-earth, and even touching per say. Holmes really is a good writer.

Saturday's band was not bad and quite 'fun' as quoted by Lian Ping. Well, the only reason why it was fun for her was because of the lack of scoldings she had gotten. Well, I'm happy for her. Whether it should be an occasion for my happiness on her account is entirely a different topic. Lunch was spent waiting tiredly as we 'tah pao-ed' food from the coffee shop and eating merrily at the void deck. 'Lunch is my favourite part of band,' said Ping happily, still munching on her noodles. When I'd commented that it wasn't technically band, she replied that along as the band was involved, it was counted.

At night, I went for mass at OLPS which was followed by quick dining at the nearest food outlet located at Bedok. In a detailed account, we ate chicken rice at the hawker centre. I almost died because I happened to leave my book unread at a particularly 'juicy' moment and was 'forced' to bear an hour of walking around bedok doing 'shopping'. In the end, I paid for the taxi ride home because I didn't want to waste any time I had to read my book by 'walking'.

I absolutely can't wait for the trip, whether or not the project we have to do (which cost more than $2000 apparently) has put a damper on my spirit.

And I really can't wait for 'havoc' to begin! (:

I had a picture of you in my mind.

Well, I haven't blogged in 3 days, because I felt I've been blogging too much. Yeah sure, no such thing as blogging TOO much, but what the hell, that's me eh?

Actually, well, honestly more than actually, rather, I've felt that I don't even know the purpose of my blog anymore. Sure, to vent is priority numero uno, but everyone does that, don't they? Kinda makes my blog feel like a clover in a never-ending field. One-in-a-million as the saying goes. A head in the crowd.

Whatever it is, I'm glad people still visit it, and I thank them.

Wednesday was extremely neutral. I say it's neutral because it was both horrible and exciting at the same time. Well, not AT the same time, rather, the same day. The exciting part was the fun briefing we had at the AVT about the beijing trip, Dhwani is my roomie, and Rachel promised 'Havoc' right at the moment which Mr. So (our 'tour guide' so to speak) clearly announced there was to be no nonsense from us.

The horrible part was band. Well, normally, it's fine. But it was just extremely horrible there and then. Ping says it will get better, especially since it wasn't a good day to begin with, so i won't go all out to say that I hate it. Just horrible is all. Not a good day, simply.

Going home was the worst part. I had the bags from CNA, my own bag, and the damn umbrella to lug home. From 2 metres away, I managed to called out to Dione n Jessie to get a cab. That's the nth time I've taken a cab. God forbid I shall feel fit enough to one day announce that, no matter what, I shall take the damn bus and shimmy my way home.

Thursday was the day I finally played contract bridge with Joan. She is SLOW. Haha, no offence on my part, she really was. I swear, we played with almost a dozen people, because they kept leaving. Bridge is fun, contract or not, although the former needs some getting-used-to.
It was also the day I went shopping with 2nd Brother and Mum. We went electronic-shopping, my FAVOURITE kind of shopping to do. And my brother, in what seemed to be an attempt to look cool, looked at a potential desktop and nodded with a sort of smugness going 'Well, this desktop we shall KIV.' And when I raised my eyebrow(to the best of my abilities) and gave him a confused look, he replied with the same smug look. 'Keep-in-view, of course.' I HAD to chortle at the attempt.

The important thing was, we got a HP desktop. My mother being surprisingly entertaining in the process.

Mum: What is this wireless keyboard and mouse thing?
Me: That means you don't need to connect it to anything to use.
Mum: That means need wire is it?

And when it came to my brother commenting on how he needed a new MP3,

Brother: I need an MP3 lah!
Mum: I have 2 news ones what! (refering to those 256Mb, $50 models.)
Me: (grinning like an idiot and trying not to laugh.)
Brother: Looking at Steph's face, I'd rather not.
Mum: Why? I have 2 new ones what! Right, Stephie? I have right?
Me: (nodding and still grinning.)

My mum can be so cute sometimes. (:

Friday, a.k.a. today, I went Expo-ing with Mother. We went to the book sale going on. It was fantastic! I was in pure heaven for 2 hours, with so much books to choose. In the end, I didn't buy all the books I wanted because some of them were too costly. But, I figure, libraries are good for those occasions.

We had to lug them books back because 2nd Brother took the car, and my slippers were killing me, because I wore the hard-soled ones. I'm currently reading 'Where the truth lies' after which, I shall be watching the movie adaptation.

Tomorrow is a Band Day, Gosh, I hope it's much better. So why do I have a feeling it will bomb?

"Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I could see it, I didn't wanna know" - Picture of You, Boyzone

And I can't find the other half

Well, my laptop is FINALLY fixed. After a long long time. And I'm so content! Not to mention what would probably be happening in the near future..

Leaving you with a picture teacher alvin took...

Send me the youth mass photos soon! (:

Isn'tthe angle of which light was captured onto the glass panel just brilliant? A natural work-of-art i would say. (:

My gosh.

I only have one thing to say.

MY LAPTOP IS SCREWED UP.

Stupid, Friggin', Fucking Laptop...

Omg, I really feel like taking it and smashing it against the marble table!

The Battery's almost dead now..

DAMN IT.

Bloody Hell.

Like I've never seen the sky before...

"Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time." - Moulin Rouge, Come What May

Know what? I feel oddly content. Ok, not content, per say. Maybe.. Indifferent? Fine, So they mean absolutely different things. Sue me.

I'm been listening to the same wardrobe of songs, but they're getting a little tedious. Well, a little. And today just wasn't really very interesting... Not really..

Same ol', same ol'.. Went to mass in the morning. Few things surprised me, most things didn't. Anne bailed out after she came down with a virus and refused to pass it to me. Bloody, noble girl. Just when I WANT sickness...

Went home after Wanton Mee at Geylang. Sometimes, when I read people's blogs, I think how lucky they are that they get to go to Fancy, expensive-no-less places to chow. It just inspires (well, pushes) me to work harder to live a life I want. Not fancy dining, or living, just a life where I don't look at people and think "I can't afford that. Don't even think about it." But where I know I can AFFORD the Shangri La buffet but think, "nah, it's a waste of money anyway."

I want the same for my entire family so badly. I want the childhood that was ripped from me so suddenly, I didn't know what was happening till it was over. I want wanting toys for christmas that other kids got even though I knew I wasn't going to play with them after a month. I want no more suffering my mother went through, pain that I can only hear about, and not feel, because it was just so intense. I want my mother to never have to lift a finger again. I want my brother to get his wishes of settling down soon because I know he is working so hard to do that. I want my other brother to succeed in his music career. I want to give my family anything and everything I can just because I love them so much. I want the life we deserve and no more pain.

Wow... when I run off-track, I REALLY run, huh?

Well, anyway, my computer is on the fritz again.. No surprise there..

You know how some people don't know what they wanna do for the future? I don't want that. But is that really what I should be doing? I really don't know.

This is the great thing about my blog. I run off-track like, again, and again, and it's ok. Because it's not some stupid essay. It's just me. And my run-away imagination.

Goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight! (Well, it's supposed to be 'merry christmas'.)

Everytime you look my way

Got this from Joan's blog. Thought I should post it up. Seems that alot of my pictures were taken with them... Shows how cam-whore-ish they are. MWAHAHA.

I'll sorely miss you guys though... Smile and Be happy always! Shit happens, so suck it up. (:

Gonna sleep now. Heard that mother? Hehehe..

So this is where the story ends.

I just spent the last 15 mins searching for the cordless. It's habit for it to appear 90% of the time NOT on the stand where it's SUPPOSED to be. Someone had called and I, being the last one in the living room, went dilligently to pick it up. Well, it wasn't on the stand (surprise, surprise.) But it wasn't on the couch, dining table, chairs or beneath the cushions either...You know.. where it usually is found? So anyway, my dad, hearing that the cordless was missing, starting grumbling about our organising skills, or lack thereof. And then my mother and I begin the Great Hunt for the Cordless.

It was stuffed in between the couch.

My mother's reply? "See? So clever." Like finding the phone stuffed in the couch was a good thing.

So anyway, my mum wants me to turn in early. Goodness, woman! It's only 9pm! Apparently, we're attending the 9.15am mass tml... And then anne's coming over with anabelle. That'll be quite weird, seeing as how I'm not close to anabelle.. but i'll give it the good ol' BOTD. (Benefit of the doubt for the sake of some.) But then, it's swim time! Again, not neccessarily a good thing. I LOVE the water, but still..

My laptop's connection is on the brink of collapsing... I don't know when I'll get my new laptop. Mother says if I want one, we need 'good ol' bro' to go with us. But Brother doesn't think I need a comp and is trying oh-so-hard to convince mother to get a more expensive desktop instead. Erm, okay, honestly, I may not need it now, but come JC, I will. Of course no one will understand, because no one has gone that far in their education to. Try telling THAT to my brother.

Going for the 9.15 mass is not neccessarily a good thing. Reasons will not be stated here. And wow, what do i WEAR?

No, I'm kidding.

Probably jeans.

Or a skirt?

Hmm....

Anyway, I just love my new blogskin! I think it's SOO nice! Judging by how I don't have photoshop, this is SOO top-notch. Brilliant. Clever. Smart. Fantastic. Oh the words!

To see my other skin, click on the credit link (the 'yours truly' one) because i'm WAYY too lazy to hyperlink it. I made a total of 3... the third one having spent it's debut here for a span for 2 days. (Or was it one?) to see it, go to my photoshop page. I doubt anyone really wants to.. but if you do.. my photoshop account is babygurl6292. I don't know the link (too lazy to look for it.) so if you REALLY wanna see it and don't know how, ask me.

"Cuz' this is real, and this is good. It warms your insides just like it should." - Built to last, Melee

Maybe we'll fly the night away

"Being a Talkative is a Privilege. Being true friends is life."

Thank you for the best times of my life. (: I love you guys!

Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

I almost started playing Dark Cut 2... but I was munching on some pears and the sudden boom as the game started almost made me choke, not to mention the weird sounds and graphics that almost made me throw up. Ok, I'm a bit of a coward.. sue me.

Anyway, I decided to write this, especially after reading mel's blog. So Mel, whenever you read this.. (tomorrow, or the day after..) remember that you inspired this. And FOR GOODNESS SAKE, please tag. Thank you. (:

I realised that I'll be Sec4 next year. Yes, I can hear the 'ohh's and the 'aiyoh's, however, I'm still gonna pen this down, so suck it up.

When I first entered Secondary School, my brothers' first (impressively mature) words to me were 'You'd better enjoy yourself alot, it'll pass by in a flash.' I didn't believe him. Yeah, Primary School rocked hell, but I felt it still took too long to end (must be PSLE..) so why should Sec Sch be any different? Boy, were they right. (Like, a new record.. one in a row!)

Next year will definitely be not-as-rocky as this year was. Emotions ran so high, like the unpreditable tidal waves, there were times I cried for sadness, times I cried for pure happiness and contentedness. I found my true friends in this year, though I felt I knew who they were since sec 1 or 2, this year was when i KNEW who they were.

And not only will I miss my class terribly, I'll miss my church friends too. That's harder. more than TWICE harder. I mean, I've known them for 10 years, that's more than my life, two-thirds to be exact. What would I do after they leave me? Sure, Nat and Belle are joining the YC, but what about joan? and tiara? even sam? Especially my annoying looooongest-i've-ever-known JOAN. She apparently wants to remain passive in church. What then? A decade of friendship slowly forgotten? I don't want that. I really want us to remain bonded as ever.

Hopefully, wishing on stars work like people say they do...

"Cause you caught me off guard, now I'm running and screaming..." - Hero/Heroine, Boys like Girls

I've looked for love in stranger places

I would like to thank my readers (as silent as they may be.) for their support. Haha, BUT, my blog may close permanently sometime next year. I'll leave my posts up here of course, so I can read it sometimes myself.

And I'm quite excited about the Beijing Trip! My hols are quite packed as it is..I don't even know how I remember my own schedule sometimes.. but it's really too late to do anything about it.. i can't write it down now because, as mentioned, I don't know what's gonna happen.

I'm even working this holiday! But it's only for two days... And I'll probably not get much money. Still, money is money. And I do need quite a bit of expenses..

Can someone please play contract bridge with me?! Share in the excitment! Well, actually, the initial excitment is wearing off... My new love is Happyland adventures... I don't know if I should download it or save it for those boring lessons in Comp Lab 4.

SPA was so TIRING. I can't have both sciences' SPA in one day, it's just too much!

An update on Operation F.M.... So far, doing quite well... just gotta try and control my memories... which is impossible you know? Oh well...

A 'shoutout' for Anne darling, Joan the Tortoise (why, Anne, why?), and the Beauty and the Beast?? Anne is SO hilarious sometimes huh? You do NOT want to know who she says the beauty and the beast are. But some people might think it obvious. I didn't. Hopefully we can go tan ourselves huh? Or maybe this announcement was too early. Hmm.

"I want to swim away but don't know how, sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down, let the rain come down. " - Into the Ocean, Blue October.

Let Me Count Thy Ways

There's no school tml for me, but I would like to wish all the HMT students good luck. Anyway, I either have very quiet readers or none at all. Cuz no one's been tagging... Anyway, it's good and bad either way. That means I can prob crap away without fear of losing any readers, and it also means no one finds my blog good enough.. oh well.. either way... I'll accept things the way they are.

So far, Operation F.M. has been quite successful. And then I question why I started it in the first place... then I say it's for my own good. Well, I hope I know what I'm doing anyway.. I could end up hurting a few in the process. Don't want that happening..

I recently downloading a couple of songs.. Quite new, quite not-so-new. Either way, they're very enjoyable. Fade Away by Olivia is the best calming song ever. So jazzy in a sense, and smooth... it's also easy on the ears, great for breaks, or something to listen to before a nap. And it's so.. even... I mean, you know how some songs jump from being so quiet to becoming so incredibly loud all of a sudden.. this one's quite soft, i guess, but just so classy! Haha.. I'm advertising something for free okay, make use of it. Oh! I know the perfect words to describe it! Bar music. I can almost imagine myself back in the Equatorial Hotel, sipping on a Shirley Temple and listening to this song. Ohh the life..

It's the meet-the-parents thing tml, and honestly, I don't know if I'm more afraid of my mum meeting Ms. Tee or Ms. Tee meeting my mum. They may SEEM to mean the same thing, but trust me. They are different.

And I'll either get my computer fixed tml, or get a new one. WHOO. Well, I hope I do anyway, with my mum, it's never certain.

Have I even mentioned Contract Bridge yet? It's fantastic! At first, it was awesome, and then I realised there were a lot of things i didn't know.. hence, I found it confusing and not enjoyable. But now, I've learnt quite abit of strategy playing, and i LOVE it! Honestly, it's alot better than the original one, because more thinking is involved and the original sometimes makes me irritated because my partner has no idea that she is. OF course, apparently, that's the fun part, but it does get irritating after a while. Contract bridge is still the BOMB.

And Hearts is another game I learnt. So strategic! Sometimes it's confusing if someone is trying to avoid the hearts or trying to get them all. Again, learn it to love it.

My new passion comes from cards. Anyone wanna teach me a new game? I catch on fast. (:

"You see, I know it's just a crush, and a crush will never last, no. No one's forcing it boy."

It's just the beginning of things.

Well, Day Numero Duos of my Operation Forget and Move On has been unsuccessful thus far. It was a little easier remembering what caused the operation to begin in the first place, but forgetting has been so hard. This is like some sick epic movie. In a few years, I would have the ability to stand up and say 'Getting over you has been the most difficult thing I've had to do.' IF i ever get to say it that is.

It's not helping that the sudden change of attitude was the trigger in which caused it. It's just instinct feeling you know? It hurts so terribly. This WILL be the most emotional time of my life. I hope it IS anyway, I doubt I can take anymore of it. And to think the change happen within a span of less than 12 hours...

I really tried today. But environment and circumstances prevented me from doing anything about my emotions and I ended up thinking about it alot. Didn't help that the environment was a huge cause for my problems.

And well, hopefully this arrangement will last for a while...I think what happened today was a blessing in disguise in a way... if the morning didn't happen, then it would be great. Incredibly hard and painful, but great nonetheless.

I really don't know what I'll do. If ever there there was a mortal version of the oblivion curse, I'll be the first in line to get it.

I just want to forget, is that so hard?

Should I totally erase this part of my life? Yes. The Answer is, I should.

Goodbye.

Hey, your friends are together, side by side and year by year,
The road was filled with twists and turns.
Oh, but that’s the road that got us here.
Let’s move past the bad times.
But before those memories fade…
Let’s forgive, but not forget the love from all the mistakes we made.
-Come so far, Got so far to go. (Elijah Kelly, Zac Efron, Nikki Blonsky - Hairspray Soundtrack)